Today I had to meet with a gal from Workman’s Comp for a vocational evaluation. This assessment was to see what my skills and limitations are. There were a lot of questions about my hobbies and activities before the fall and what of that I can do now. It is this lady’s job to take what learned from me today and the doctors notes and go out and look for me a job that I can do within those limitations. After an hour and a half I broke down and cried when telling her my frustration at not being able to do the things I did before and not being able to drive a truck anymore. Trying to explain to someone that has never driven a truck what it is like to do and then to loose it is not an easy task. I know many of you have heard and read me talk about how trucking in more than just a job, it is a way of life and a life style. The nomadic nature of drivers in ingrained in them so deep that it becomes part of who they are and of who I am. Over the last couple on months as I have started school and had to try to integrate myself into the “real world”, I have had days that I hate my life. I have had days that I am angry at the world. I have had days that I ask why me and want to crawl into a whole and hid from all these crazy people that just don’t get me. I try to hang on to that fact that now I am chasing another dream I have had for several years. If not for the fall I am not sure that I would have taken the step to go to school and try to start another career in radio. I remind myself that I am smart, personable, and that the only one holding me back from chasing this dream is me. But it doesn’t always work. Even though I am doing well in my classes, I think I have at least one A, several high B’s and a C, I get scared. I wonder if I can really do this. All of this came out when talking with this lady today. I think that this meeting is another slap in the face that this is really happening, I am not going to back to truck driving, and that hurts.
The thing that made it even worse was the meeting with my lawyer after the lady left the office. My doctor has give me a 6% medical impairment rating. To get a rough dollar number as to what that means for a settlement we have that the 200 weeks that are allowed for a scheduled member, multiply that by the 6% (which equal 12 weeks) and then multiply that result by what I am getting per week from AIG for workman’s comp. That comes to $4787 for each wrist. Shane, my lawyer, says that it what I can count on getting at the very least. But that total will be multiplied by 4 or 5 because of the impact the injury has had on my life. So if we go with the hopeful number of 5, that total is $23935 per wrist. That is a total of $47871. Does that seem fair for how much of my life has been impacted by this injury? These are just base figures. Shane say he is going to shoot for 100 week times what I am getting weekly to start off with. That still only comes out to be $39893 per wrist for a total of $79786. Of course, he gets 25% of what ever settlement I get. This news did not go over well with me. I was really expecting more. I don’t want enough money to live off of the rest of my life, I just want enough that I don’t have to worry about how I am going to live while I got to college the next four years. Shane told me that workman’s comp laws are really not set up to deal with severely injured people. they figure that if you are severely injured, you will be going on social security disability. when I asked him I qualified for that, he said that they really are not set up for a partial permanent disability. He says that I do have a winnable case, but it would be a fight to get it. When I asked him if a lawyer would even touch it is it was going to be such a fight, he said they would, but that I didn’t want to start that until after the workman’s comp case is done.
So, I sit in limbo once again, not knowing what is going to happen and how I am going to survive the next few years while I try ti finish college and start a new career. But as much as there are days that I really want to give up, I am just not that kind of person. I am a survivor and a fighter. One way or another, I will adapt and overcome!!
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Young American Veterans Record Debut CD – Available April 20, 2010
Portion Of Proceeds Benefit Veteran-Related Charities
New York – January 26, 2010 – Sony MASTERWORKS announces the signing of 4TROOPS. Their debut self-titled CD will be available on April 20th with a portion of the proceeds from the sales to benefit veteran-related charities.
4TROOPS are United States combat veterans – three young men and one woman who served on the front lines in Iraq and Afghanistan. While overseas, music played a crucial and very personal role in all of their lives. They would sing at everything from large military events to more intimate settings, where they would jam in their bunk after a long day in the field and try to recall a slice of home. They also used their voices at somber occasions like memorial services, where they would sing to remember those that had been lost. 4TROOPS now come together for a singular purpose: to sing on behalf of all troops, to honor their sacrifices and to create awareness for their needs.
The members of 4TROOPS are: Former Cpt. Meredith Melcher, Former Sgt. Daniel Jens, Staff Sgt. (Ret.) Ron Henryand Former Sgt. David Clemo. Melcher, 29, is the daughter of a retired three-star General. She served as a platoon leader on the front lines in Iraq where she led her troops in the successful ambulance evacuations of hundreds of wounded Americans and Iraqis. Jens, 36, served in Iraq and was most recently stationed at Fort Hood. He joined the army after the events of 9/11. Jens was one of the finalists on “America’s Got Talent.” He was released from the Army at the end of January. Henry, 41, served in the Army for 20 years. He was a transport manager in Iraq with the 101st Airborne Division, and also the leader of an Army singing group “Transportation Express.” Clemo, 30, served on the front lines in Afghanistan providing communications and logistics support for the 18th Airborne Corps. He and Melcher toured together in 2004 with the Army Soldier Show.
The album consists of well-known positive pop and country songs and some new songs. All of the songs take on a special meaning in the context that they are performed by these four combat heroes. The first song is For Freedom, an inspirational patriotic tune written by Matt Moran for his grandfather, a WWII vet. Country star Toby Keith gives his blessing for a new version of his popular and controversial post 9/11 hit Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue to be included on the album with lyrics revised to reflect a 2010 outlook. Another country hit on the album is Galveston, popularized by Glen Campbell. This song made the CMT list of the ten greatest country-western songs of all time. Other tracks include Angel by Sarah McLachlan, Lonestar’s I Am Already There, and a new song written by Victor Hurtado titled Here We’ve Been. The album is produced by Frank Fillipetti (Barbra Streisand, Carly Simon, George Michael, Pavarotti) who produced James Taylor’s Hourglass album which won Fillipetti a Grammy® for Best Pop Album and Best Engineered Album in 1998.
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The group was brought together by veteran Victor Hurtado. He has been part of Army Entertainment for the last 25 years, first as a Soldier and Music Director, and later as the Artistic Director. He is currently the Production Director for the Army Soldier Show. This show was established during WWI in 1918 by Sgt. Israel Beilin, better known as Irving Berlin.
Sony is in the process of finalizing arrangements to donate a portion of proceeds from 4TROOPS projects to one or more veteran-related charities, including the Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America (IAVA). IAVA is the first and largest non-partisan, non-profit forveterans of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. IAVA has more than 180,000 veteran members and civilian supporters nationwide. IAVA was founded by Iraq veteran Paul Rieckhoff, the author of the critically acclaimed book Chasing Ghosts and a nationally-recognized authority on the war in Iraq and issues affecting our troops, military families and veterans at home.
Bob Woodruff, the ABC news anchor who was severely injured in Iraq, conducted the first TV interview with 4TROOPS which aired on Good Morning America (ABC) on Tuesday January 26th. Woodruff is personally invested in creating a better environment for injured troops who return from war. Through The Bob Woodruff Foundation and ReMIND.org, Woodruff’s goal is to provide resources and support to service members, veterans and their families to successfully reintegrate into their communities, in addition to educate the public about the needs of the injured troops and empower people everywhere to take action.
In March 2010, 4TROOPS will tape a concert special at a U.S. Military base for intended airing in the summer on participating PBS stations.
4TROOPS will also embark on an U.S. Military base tour at the end of March followed by a National tour in the fall. Upon hearing of the 4TROOPS, the Motel 6 hotel chain immediately wanted to be involved as a promotional partner and as a first step has generously donated lodging for the group throughout their U.S. Military base tour.
About MASTERWORKS: RCA Red Seal, Sony Classical, deutsche harmonia mundi, MASTERWORKS Broadway and MASTERWORKS Jazz are labels of Sony MASTERWORKS. For email updates and information regarding RCA Red Seal, Sony Classical, deutsche harmonia mundi, MASTERWORKS Broadway and MASTERWORKS Jazz artists, promotions, tours and repertoire, please visit www.sonymasterworks.com.
OK, I have to admit, this was oh so cool! Today was my debut on hosting a radio show. I have been a guest on many radio shows and a guest host a time or two on others, but today, it was all mine. Well sort of! I did have Dan there to run the board since I have not been taught how to do that yet. The show will be co-hosted by me and Dan most of the time, but today, I got to sort of run the show. There were a few mistakes, but we handled them and I don’t think the listeners really knew they happened…that is always good!
To make things a bit less nerve wracking for me and to promote something that I am very close to, I had Kim Brown is as my guest. The topic of todays show was the Patriot Guard Riders (PGR) and the Help on the Homefront (HOTH) mission. Kim is not only a friend of mine, but is also the Mississippi State Coordinator for HOTH; I am her assistant. Talking about something I know so well and love so much made things a lot more comfortable for me. I think the show went well, other than the fact that at the beginning, I was a bit out of breath due to having to run across campus to get there on time. The instructor in the class before the show ran a little long. We talked about how the PGR got started and moved on to the HOTH mission and what it’s purpose is; to make sure that every Veteran knows that they are not forgotten and to make sure that all units shipping out and coming home know that we honor, respect, and love them for being willing to lay their lives down for our Country and our Freedoms.
I didn’t stop there. I heard about a record label that only records current and former military a couple of years ago and have been a big supporter of it. It is called To The Fallen Recordsand there is some great music being done by these guys and gals. So today, that was the music that was featured! We played two songs from the Vol2, Country album, “Coming Home” by Rodney Watts and “Soldier On” by Corey Perrilliux. My hope is that we can continue to feature music from these fine men and women each week on the show. There will be a little Country, a little Rock and maybe even a bit of Hip Hop. (We have to listen to each song and make sure there is no foul language in them, it is public radio after all.) There may be only two to three songs a week featured, but my hope, is that in the end, it will become a signature for the show.
I have had many emails and text messages asking if there are any archives or podcast for the show, sadly, there are not. If you want to listen, for now, you will either have to be local and listen in on 88.5 or listen in on-line at www.usm.edu/wusm if not local. The station is trying to get things set up to have podcast of some of the shows and to install phone lines so we can take on-air callers, but money is tight! I was told today my Mr Sanders that to get the equipment needed to do all that and a qualified person to install it, will cost around $5000. The station revamped the format in November 2009 and we are in what you would call a “shake down” mode. So, if you want to be able to call in and participate on the topics, we need to raise some money. (Please forgive me for putting a hand out, but it is a college radio station and funding is thin.) So, I ask that if you can, and I know times are tough right now, go to the WUSM Support page and help us “get ‘er done!” As with any public supported radio station, donations and memberships are how we get the programing that appeals to the listeners. (Besides, I want my call in talk radio show and they need the equipment before I can do that.) Even if it is only a few dollars, it will help us get the ball rolling. OK, enough of the fund raising stuff!
Next week we are going to have USM employee/student, Teresa Dalgleish, in to talk about a project that she is working to get fun, team building equipment donated to send to the Troops in Iraq. Two years ago, she and some others had enough baseball equipment donated that they were able to send it to two different units in Iraq. She told me when we chatted the other day about some of the feed back she got from the Troops that received it. It really helped their morale to have something fun and AMERICAN to do while in the desert! If interested in hearing about this great project, please listen in next Wednesday, March 10, at 1200 central time, to hear her talk about it and relate some of the feed back she got from the Troops. If you would like to help, you can email Teresa at teresa.hayes@usm.edu or call her office at 601-266-4456.
Until we get the phone lines in, if you would like to ask a question or participate in the show, everyone is more than welcome to shoot us an email at wusmrequest@usm.edu. Please reference me or the Wednesday noon show so we know who is to receive the email. If you have comments or feed back about the show or the station, you can shoot and email to wusm@usm.edu. (Personal note: thank you to those that sent emails today about how much you enjoyed my show. Mr Sanders had a great smile on his face as he told me about them. Keep them coming!!) Each week we will try to announce what the topic of the next weeks show will be so you have plenty of time to get your comments and questions emailed in to us. We will read and try to answer some of them on-air!
Again, I want to thank Kim Brown for being such a great guest today and all my friends and family that took the time out of their day to listen in. I have received many emails and comments on my Facebook page telling me how much ya’ll enjoyed the show! Keep em coming!
The Other Victims of Battlefield Stress; Defense Contractors’ Mental Health Neglected
by T. Christian Miller, ProPublica – February 26, 2010 1:48 am EST
On the one-year anniversary of her husband’s suicide, Barb Dill breaks down at her husband’s tombstone. Wade Dill, a Marine Corps veteran, took a contractor job in Iraq. Three weeks after he returned home for good, he committed suicide (Francine Orr / Los Angeles Times / Redding, CA / July 16, 2007).
REDDING, Calif. — Wade Dill does not figure into the toll of war dead. An exterminator, Dill took a job in Iraq for a company contracted to do pest control on military bases. There, he found himself killing disease-carrying flies and rabid dogs, dodging mortars and huddling in bomb shelters.
Dill, a Marine Corps veteran, was a different man when he came back for visits here, his family said: moody, isolated, morose. He screamed at his wife and daughter. His weight dropped. Dark circles haunted his dark brown eyes.
Three weeks after he returned home for good, Dill booked a room in an anonymous three-story motel alongside Interstate 5. There, on July 16, 2006, he shot himself in the head with a 9 mm handgun. He left a suicide note for his wife and a picture for his daughter, then 16. The caption read: “I did exist and I loved you.”
More than three years later, Dill’s loved ones are still reeling, their pain compounded by a drawn-out battle with an insurance company over death benefits from the suicide. Barb Dill, 47, nearly lost the family’s home to foreclosure. “We’re circling the drain,” she said.
While suicide among soldiers has been a focus of Congress and the public, relatively little attention has been paid to the mental health of tens of thousands of civilian contractors returning from Iraq and Afghanistan. When they make the news at all, contractors are usually in the middle of scandal, depicted as cowboys, wastrels or worse.
No agency tracks how many civilian workers have killed themselves after returning from the war zones. A small study in 2007 found that 24 percent of contract employees from DynCorp, a defense contractor, showed signs of depression or post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD, after returning home. The figure is roughly equivalent to those found in studies of returning soldiers.
If the pattern holds true on a broad scale, thousands of such workers may be suffering from mental trauma, said Paul Brand, the CEO of Mission Critical Psychological Services, a firm that provides counseling to war zone civilians. More than 200,000 civilians work in Afghanistan and Iraq, according to the most recent figures.
“There are many people falling through the cracks, and there are few mechanisms in place to support these individuals,” said Brand, who conducted the study while working at DynCorp.”There’s a moral obligation that’s being overlooked. Can the government really send people to a war zone and neglect their responsibility to attend to their emotional needs after the fact?”
The survivors of civilians who have committed suicide have found themselves confused, frustrated and alone in their grief.
“If I was in the military, I’d at least have someone to talk to,” said Melissa Finkenbinder, 42, whose husband, Kert, a mechanic, killed himself after returning from Iraq. “Contractors don’t have anything. Their families don’t have anything.”
Some families of civilian contractors who have committed suicide have tried to battle for help through an outdated government system designed to provide health insurance and death benefits to civilian contractors injured or killed on the job.
Under the system, required by a law known as the Defense Base Act, defense firms must purchase workers’ compensation insurance for their employees in war zones. It is highly specialized and expensive insurance, dominated by the troubled giant AIG and a handful of other companies. The cost of it is paid by taxpayers as part of the contract price.
But the law, which is designed to provide coverage for accidental death and injury, blocks payment of death benefits in the case of almost all suicides. Cases linked to mental incapacity are the lone exception, judges have ruled.
A joint investigation last year by ProPublica, ABC News and the Los Angeles Times revealed that contract workers must frequently battle carriers for basic medical coverage. While Congress has promised reforms, there has been no discussion of changing the law when it comes to suicides involving civilian defense workers.
The military, by contrast, allows survivors to receive benefits in cases in which a soldier’s suicide can be linked to depression caused by battlefield stress.
Hundreds of soldiers have committed suicide since the war in Afghanistan began in 2001, according to studies by the Army and the Department of Veterans Affairs. In response, the Defense Department has become more active in trying to prevent suicide than its hired contractors, military experts said.
The military is “aggressively trying to reach people and do intervention beforehand and set up suicide awareness programs,” said Ian de Planque, a benefits expert at the American Legion, the nation’s largest veterans group. “Awareness of it has increased. I don’t know that it’s transferred over to the civilian sector at this point.”
Birgitt Eysselinck has spent years trying to prove that her husband’s death in Iraq was related to stress from his job with a company specializing in the removal of land mines and explosive ordnance. So far, courts have sided with the insurance firm, Chicago-based CNA, in denying Eysselinck’s claim. (CNA declined to comment, citing privacy reasons.)
Eysselinck, 44, said that neither federal judges nor insurance adjusters understand that civilian contractors face many of the same risks in Iraq and Afghanistan that soldiers do. Her husband, Tim Eysselinck, endured mortar attacks and frequently traveled across Iraq’s dangerous highways, she said.
“There is a huge percentage of contractors who are silently suffering,” Eysselinck said. “That obviously puts them and their families at risk. Communities are bearing the brunt of this, especially the families.”
* * *
Wade Dill was working at a local pest control company when he decided to take a job with KBR in Iraq in late 2004. The money was good – almost $11,000 a month for handling extermination and hazardous material disposal, more than double his normal salary.
“He said this was our opportunity,” Barb Dill said. “He could start a college fund for our daughter, pay off the mortgage and have a nice retirement. He told me at his age, 41, he didn’t know if he had enough years left in him to give us what he wanted.”
Wade started that December, working on bases in central and northern Iraq. Violence was ever present. A base near Mosul was shelled frequently. He told Barb that a mortar landed close enough to temporarily deafen him. Once, he called her sobbing.
“My husband never cried, ever,” she said. “Marines don’t cry. A young man, a soldier, had put a pistol to his head and blown his brains out. And Wade had to go in and clean up after they removed the body – he had to clean up brain matter and blood. It really upset him.”
Barb Dill noticed a change in her husband when he returned home for a visit in December 2005. The couple had been high school sweethearts, married for 15 years. They had troubles, but had always worked them out. Now, he seemed moody and often angry, lashing out at her and their daughter, Sara.
“He would say hateful things to me and our daughter – things he had never said before.” Dill said. “This was a man that loved his little girl and his wife. He always called us his girls.”
When Wade returned for another visit in June 2006, he abruptly quit his job and began acting erratically, Dill said. He ripped the wiring out of appliances, smashed mirrors and poured lighter fluid on their furniture.
After a few weeks, Wade took a room at a local motel. On July 15, he asked Barb to come see him. Their conversation spiraled into a confrontation. Frightened and angry, Barb sped off in her car. The next day, the Shasta County coroner’s office called to tell her that Wade’s body had been found in the room.
“He told me that he was sick and needed help,” Dill said. “I told him to get help and then we would talk. The last time I saw him was in my rearview mirror.”
Dill soon found herself in financial difficulty. Her husband had always taken care of the bills. He had spent lavishly with his higher salary, buying two BMWs during trips home. Now, Dill discovered the couple was $300,000 in debt on their mortgage and car loans.
She plunged into depression, struggling to cope with her daughter’s grief and the sense that she had failed her husband in his time of need. She sold the cars and nearly lost her home after falling behind on mortgage payments.
She suffered mostly by herself. Except for a handful of Web sites, no support groups exist for widows of civilian contractors. The federal government offers no counseling for civilians returning from work in war zones.
Dill said that she felt abandoned by everyone: her husband’s employer, the insurance company and especially the federal government, which oversees the Defense Base Act system through the Labor Department.
“Shouldn’t our government be responsible for the companies they hire?” Dill said. “Shouldn’t our government take care of its own people, who are doing jobs our government, ultimately, wanted them to do?”
* * *
Survivors of civilian contractors whose death is related to their work in Iraq have the right to apply for compensation benefits that pay up to $63,000 a year for life.
Dill applied, asserting that her husband’s PTSD made him an exception to the rule against payments in suicide cases. Her claim was denied by AIG, KBR’s insurance provider.
She protested, sending her claim into a dispute resolution system run by the Labor Department. Her case is still grinding its way through the system, which can take years to produce a final result.
Experts hired by the family and the insurance company differed on what led to Wade Dill’s suicide.
A psychiatrist hired by her attorney found that job stress in Iraq was one of the factors that drove Wade to suicide: “The bottom line is that the combination of physical separation and work-related stress resulted in increasingly emotional distance, greater distortion of the relationship, increasing emotional intensity, and a pattern of increasing erratic behaviors that culminated in suicide,” wrote Charles Seaman, an expert in PTSD.
A Labor Department examiner recommended that AIG pay the claim, but the company refused. AIG and KBR declined comment about the case. In court filings, AIG has argued that the Defense Base Act does not cover suicides.
AIG attorneys also have said that Wade Dill’s actions were related to marital and family problems. A psychiatrist hired by AIG testified at a hearing in San Francisco in January that he had performed a “psychological autopsy” on Wade Dill based on interviews with his family and court documents.
The psychiatrist, Andrew D. Whyman, said his evaluation led him to conclude that Dill suffered from depression and that his suicide was unrelated to the violence he witnessed in Iraq.
“Take out the Iraq experience, (the suicide) would have happened,” Whyman testified. “He had a choice. … He could have chosen not to do that.”
Barb Dill insists her husband came back from Iraq a changed man.
“No matter how strained our relationship could get at times, we always pulled out of it with no problem,” Dill said. “Iraq changed all that.”
Now, she said, she is trying to hold her life together. A final decision in her case is not expected for months.
“We’re just slowly sinking,” she said. “It’s hard to be strong.”
Watch a preview of ‘Disposable Army,’ a documentary currently being produced by Mark Crupi, which contains interviews with Barb Dill and T. Christian Miller.
Let me start off by saying that I am going to piss some of you off with the opinion you are about to read! But I am SICK and TIRED of people NOT understanding what the word “MILITARY” means.
An article from the Washington Post titled “For soldiers, single motherhood becomes another battlefield” brings up the question of single parents in the military. Now I understand that there are many people that want to serve their country, but not all should. Heck, I tried at the age of 42 but my body did not cooperate and I chose to come home. I felt, even though the Army was willing to do what it took to help me over come the problems in my lower back and hips, that it was better for my fellow soldiers for me to stay home and give them all the support I can, than to be the weak link. And that is what I felt I would be. If you can not perform the duties required to the fullest, whether physically or mentally, then you are just putting the people around you at risk.
I don’t care if you are single, married, a single parent, or a married parent, when you sign on the line to join the Military, you should know that one day you could be sent into battle and have to leave your children behind. If you have children, then you need to weight the responsibilities as a parent against those of being in the military. What is best for you and what you feel you and your family can deal with may not be what is best for your career in the military. I am NOT saying that all military personnel should be single, many make it work. Yes, it is hard on the whole family, I don’t deny that, BUT, what do you think the military is and does?
I get so tired of people that say they joined the military to get out of this or that, or to get a “free” education. It isn’t free! That “free” education or “free” ticket out of the situation you are in could be paid for with your life. To me that is very expensive! If you are not willing to lay your life down for this Country, DO NOT JOIN THE MILITARY! It is that plain and simple.
Yes, the military still has many things that it needs to work out where women are concerned, health care and women in a combat MOS are just two. But as the article, “G.I. Jane Breaks the Combat Barrier” that they reference from “The New Your Times”, many women are honorably proving that they can handle “the shit” just as well as many men that they stand beside in battle. So how can it be any different for a single mother in the military then a single father? Just a few years ago a friend of mine that was in the Navy, retired because he and his wife divorced, and he got custody of their children. Feeling that it was better for him and his boys, he gave up a military career that he dearly loved. I respect his decision, I am saddened by it, but respect it. He was, and still is to me, a great Sailor! And look at CJ and the battles he has gone through over the last year. He is still in the Army AND doing his duty as a parent. Yes, it has cost him greatly, but apparently he was willing to make that sacrifice for the things he believes in, the Army and being a Dad.
Many years ago during WWII, my grandmother was in the Army. First she was a flight instructor and then a darkroom tech. When she became pregnant with my mom, she was released from the Army with a dishonorable discharge.There was no debate about it and she had no choice. Today, women can stay in the military when they become pregnant whether they are married or not. That is a great thing! We have come a long way in the last 60 to 70 years. But to sit there and refuse to deploy when you have known for months that it is going to happen is inexcusable. I understand in the case of Spec. Alexis Hutchinson that her mother was supposed to take care of her son, but she was offered other help and refused it.
Now granted I don’t know all the regulations and maybe CJ and Marcus over on “A Soldier’s Perspective” can help me with this, but can’t a person get out of the military siting hardship, without getting a “other-than-honorable” discharge? According to the story, Hutchinson choose the”other-than-honorable” discharge because she could get on with her life and would not have to face court-martial or possible jail time. In a way, I can understand that decision and sympathize with her. But I have many questions that these articles do not answer. Did she exhaust every means possible to delay her deployment and find other arrangements? Is there not any other family? And what about the offer of help that she did get and refused? Why did she refuse it? What were the conditions of it? There are a lot of unanswered questions. I believe that MSM has yet again taken a story and reported only half of it to, once again, make the military out to be a bunch of cold-hearted bastards!
I have days that I wonder my me. I have days that I am ok with it all and others that I wish I could find a hole to crawl in to. And then there are days like today where I am so frustrated with the limitations and there are so many feelings going on that I don’t know if I should laugh, cry, or what!
I have taken care of myself and done what I wanted to, when I wanted to for a long time now. Being reticted as to how much weight I can lift and how I can use my wrists has interfeered with my life so much that I feel that the quality of it has deminished. I have to rely on people to take notes for me in class. I am going to need help when working on the pick-up. When I go shopping I have to tell the cashier to not make the bags to heavy. I have to have something on wheels to carry my books for school. I can’t pull on much and can push on even less. I can’t turn a door knob all the way around.I can’t ride my motorcycle as long, as far, or as much as I use to. That is just some of the things I can no longer do much of.
So today I ask “why me?” Why so bad? How am I going to survive this and live a full, exciting life? How do I get myself to the aceptance stage when every time I think I am there, I run into something else that I have to ask for help with?
DORGAN: ARMY DECISION TO DENY MILLIONS IN BONUSES TO CONTRACTOR KBR IS
“RIGHT CALL,” BUT ONLY A “FIRST STEP”
(WASHINGTON, D.C.) — U.S. Senator Byron Dorgan (D-ND), who chaired Senate hearings on electrocutions of soldiers in Iraq resulting from shoddy contracting work by KBR, said Thursday the Army’s decision to deny million of dollars in bonuses to the firm for its 2008 work in Iraq “is the right call, but it is only a first step.”
Dorgan chaired two Senate Democratic Policy Committee (DPC) hearings in 2008 and 2009 on KBR’s shoddy electrical work in Iraq. The hearings revealed widespread problems with KBR’s electrical work there including countless electrical shocks including one that killed Staff Sgt. Ryan Maseth, and perhaps others, and injured dozens more on their own bases as they showered and engaged in other routine activities.
Following the hearings, Dorgan and Senator Robert Casey (D-PA) wrote the Army asking that it review KBR’s work and the electrocution death of Staff Sgt. Ryan Maseth. They also asked the Army to re-evaluate the millions of dollars in bonuses it has routinely awarded KBR for supposedly excellent work, even when the Army’s own evidence made clear it was highly questionable.
The Army’s investigation of Maseth’s January 2008 death found that KBR’s work exposed soldiers to “unacceptable risk.” A theatre-wide safety review that resulted from the Dorgan-Casey request — Task Force SAFE — also found widespread problems with KBR’s electrical work that exposed soldiers to life threatening risks.
“The decision to deny KBR millions in bonuses for its work in 2008 is welcome news, and is a significant change from the Army’s past practice, but the Army clearly needs go much further,” Dorgan said. “Specifically, it needs to review the $34 million bonus and other bonuses it awarded KBR for shoddy work that may have contributed to other electrocution deaths and other serious electrical shocks.”
Dorgan said the Army’s decision “will send a long overdue message to military contractors that they will be held accountable for their performance. But the Army needs to send that message much more powerfully. Not awarding a bonus for widespread sloppy contracting work that killed soldiers is just the beginning, not the end point, of accountability.”
Dorgan has chaired 21 Senate DPC hearings on waste, fraud and corruption in military contracting in Iraq and Afghanistan since 2003. Evidence at those hearings he said, “has been overwhelming that KBR’s work was shoddy and put the lives of U.S. soldiers at risk. KBR’s electrical workers were often unqualified, poorly trained and poorly supervised. When questions were raised, they simply denied there was a problem and proceeded with the same shoddy business as usual.”
What is the only difference between a trucker driver story and a fairytale?
A fairytale begins with ‘Once upon a time’ and a truck drivers story starts with ‘You aint gonna believe this shit!’
Yea, I know that is a VERY old joke. I remember it being told to me 20 years ago when I first started driving. But there is a reason I tell the joke now. The other day a driver friend and I were talking and swapping truck driver stories, more like remembering the “good ole’ days”, and he suggested that I should write all these great stories down some place, before I get to old and can’t remember them any more! I thought it was a great idea. Since much time has passed and I can’t be thrown under the jail any more for some of the things I did back then, I thought it might be cool to share the stories with ya’ll. The thing is where do I start! Do I start with going to truck driver school back in 1990, or the first driving job I held, or maybe I should start with how I decided that I wanted to drive a truck. Yes, I think starting at the beginning is best.
It was 1990 and I was confused about many things that was going on in my life at the time. In debt, living in the “system” with my 3 boys, I was a basket case. Looking back I wonder if I should not have been locked up in a little rubber room some place. On the edge of being suicidal and feeling that my boys would be better off without me, I sent them to their Dad. I had just started dating a truck driver that went by the handle ‘Bruiser’. He had been driving about 5 years at the time I met him. I went on the road with him for several months and during that time I got the idea, “Hey, I can do this!” The thought was that I would learn to drive a truck, get out of debt, get my head straightened out, and then get my boys back. As many of you know, that last part didn’t happen. I wont go into all the whys of that, other than to say, that learning to be a truck driver the way I did, the diesel smoke gets in your blood and you can never get it out! It wasn’t that I didn’t want them, I felt they really were better off with me at that time. If you can’t take care of yourself, how can you take care of your kids? By the time I had my head on my shoulders better, I had fallen in love with driving. To come off the road would have meant a massive drop in pay and I felt I would have been right back where I started, living in the welfare system. I didn’t want that for my boys. So I kept on trucking and did my best to see them as much as I could.
I bugged Bruiser to teach me to be a truck driver. He made a comment that sticks with me to this day, “It’s a living, but it’s not a life!” I didn’t understand that in the beginning. It took many years for me to really get what he was saying, but by that time, I was hooked! I remember sitting in the jump seat one day as we were headed south on I75 in Florida. Bruiser was having a hard time getting a bear report (cop report) so he handed the mic to me. “They will come back to a woman before they answer a man.” he said. So I asked for the bear report and got it…..and I got a whole lot more.
Now remember this is 1990, there were not that many women on the road and many men back then thought that women did not belong in a truck as a driver. So along with the bear report, I was treated to a few crude comments. One even called me a bitch and a lot lizard (prostitute). I looked at Bruiser, started handing him the mic and asked him if he was going to take care of that. He looked at me and told me that if I wanted to drive a truck, I should learn to deal with that kind of stuff or take my ass back home. So I keyed up the mic and let that driver have it! Bruiser was a great inspiration and a great teacher, even thought he never put me under the wheel. His pushing me to make sure that driving was what I really wanted to do and teaching me that because I am a woman, I am going to have to work harder than any man out there, is probably why I became as good a driver as I was and lasted as long as I did.
I have had many drivers ask me how I got into truck driving. I tell them that I dated a truck driver once upon a time, went with on the road and got hooked. They ask me if I want to kick his ass now? I always respond with the same answer. “NO! It was a very tough time for me back then. Truck driving saved my life and in that, the guy that got me into driving, saved my life. I owe him!”
I know it hasn’t been perfect, I have made some mistakes along the way and done some things that I am not very proud of, but I would not be who I am today, or where I am today, if not for becoming a truck driver. With your indulgence, I will relate some of the stories I have in my head from 20 years on the road as a female truck driver. I hope that it will help those outside of the industry better understand the people behind the wheel of those big rigs they see going up and down the road. For those that want to get in to trucking, maybe they will have a more informed view of what it really takes to be a truck driver. And for those that have been there and done that, maybe we can swap some stories of the “good ole’ days” before we forget them in our old age!
It is sleeting here at the house now and I got this email from USM!
Because of a forecast of inclement winter weather conditions, The University of Southern Mississippi is closing at 5 p.m. Thursday (Feb. 11) and cancelling evening classes; and will close its operations Friday (Feb. 12) on the Hattiesburg and Long Beach campuses, as well as all Gulf Coast teaching and research sites.
For students who live in residence halls on the Hattiesburg campus, dining services will continue to operate on a limited basis. University Police will continue to provide services during the day Friday and monitor conditions on campus.
Those scheduled to participate in other events scheduled for Friday on the Hattiesburg and Long Beach campuses or at Gulf Coast teaching and research sites are encouraged to contact event organizers/directors to determine if these events will go on as scheduled.
For further updates, check http://www.usm.edu or http://www.southernmiss.info.
Because of a forecast of inclement winter weather conditions, The University of Southern Mississippi is closing at 5 p.m. Thursday (Feb. 11) and cancelling evening classes; and will close its operations Friday (Feb. 12) on the Hattiesburg and Long Beach campuses, as well as all Gulf Coast teaching and research sites.
For students who live in residence halls on the Hattiesburg campus, dining services will continue to operate on a limited basis. University Police will continue to provide services during the day Friday and monitor conditions on campus.
Those scheduled to participate in other events scheduled for Friday on the Hattiesburg and Long Beach campuses or at Gulf Coast teaching and research sites are encouraged to contact event organizers/directors to determine if these events will go on as scheduled.
For further updates, check http://www.usm.edu or http://www.southernmiss.info.
Even at my age, finding the right major is not an easy task! Maybe it in some ways it is much harder, or maybe it is just me. Heck, I don’t think I have ever fit into any kind of box that most people would think a woman should be in. No matter what I have done in my life, I always do it my way no matte what, good or bad. So I guess I should not be surprised that college would be any different!
Today I met with my program advisor. (Yes, this is one that I talked about in my post a few days ago.) It went rather well other then the fact that when I walked out of his office, I realized that being a Media Production major was not where I wanted to be. As he explained to me, the program entailed more in the video field. It only has one class for radio! So, I made my way to the guy that runs the campus radio station. I need to talk to him anyway. My professor for my film studies class sent me an email telling me that the radio station wanted to interview me. We talked about the interview and my working with the campus station.
I then went to my acting class, lunch and back to talk to the head of the Mass Comm Department, Dr Campbell. I felt I really needed to figure out what I needed to major in to get to where I want to be, but he wasn’t in. So, I stopped back by Mr Sanders’ office to talk about my working with the station. As we chatted I filled him in about my dilemma. He remembered talk to the people over in the Arts & Letters Department about the Interdisciplinary Studies. From what he understood of it, I could tailor my Bachelors degree to fit what I wanted and where I want to go.
So I made my way over to the Arts & Letters building, went to the second floor, found the right office, had a brief chat with the ladies there, and set up an appointment to meet with them after my next class. As I explained that I wanted to eventually have a call-in talk radio show, about my book, blogs, fighting for civilian contractors for a couple of years, and the many emails and call I have gotten from women in abusive relationships that say that my story helped them get out of it, the many people that call about working in Iraq, the time I have spent supporting the military and dealing with PTSD, and so on and so forth, she said that I was in the right department. That made me feel good.
I still have to take all the core courses that every college student has to take, but I work with each department very closely to determine which classes I will take to get where I want to be. Here is the description from the USM Bachelors of Interdisciplinary Studies web site.
Bachelor of Interdisciplinary Studies
The Bachelor of Interdisciplinary Studies (BIS) undergraduate program allows students to create interdisciplinary specialties in preparation for careers in a world where complex issues demand multi-faceted knowledge and skills. With the help of an Interdisciplinary Studies faculty advisor, students will select courses from two or more disciplines and focus their program on the basis of a unifying issue, theme, or topic as an area of concentration. Students will work closely with faculty from each selected discipline to design a program meeting their diverse educational and career goals.
Acceptance into the BIS program is determined by the following criteria:
the student’s selection of a concentration area that does not reflect any existing major, linking clusters of courses and faculty where no structure or formal program exists;
the student’s selection of a concentration area that integrates knowledge and skills from at least two fields and disciplines resulting in an individualized program that is historical, regional, thematic, or problem-based;
the student’s selection of a concentration that is supported and approved by an BIS faculty advisor and associated program faculty. BIS students are required to cultivate relationships with assigned or designated faculty, taking initial responsibility in developing their individualized programs.
Interdisciplinary Studies students will develop individualized, coherent, intellectually challenging, cross-disciplinary academic plans, utilizing courses selected from departments at The University of Southern Mississippi.
After our chat, I filled out the paperwork to change my major. I hope Dr Campbell isn’t upset with me for changing my major, but I will still be a part of the Mass Comm department, just that it wont be my only focus.
