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Study: Fast morphine treatment may prevent PTSD

By LINDA A. JOHNSON
Associated Press Writer

Quickly giving morphine to wounded troops cuts in half the chance they will develop post-traumatic stress disorder, according to a provocative study that suggests a new strategy for preventing the psychological fallout of war.

Researchers at the U.S. Naval Health Research Center led the study of about 700 troops injured in Iraq from 2004 through 2006.

“It was surprising how strong the effect of the morphine was,” said study leader Troy Lisa Holbrook, an epidemiologist at the naval center. The findings were published in Thursday’s New England Journal of Medicine.

Whether the Pentagon will adopt the practice on the battlefield remains to be seen. Dr. Jack Smith, acting deputy assistant secretary of defense for clinical and program policy, said in an e-mail that the “very interesting findings” are “likely to stimulate further research.”

About 53,000 troops returning from Iraq and Afghanistan have been treated for PTSD, a disorder in which someone who has endured a traumatic event keeps re-experiencing it and the fear it caused. Patients often have trouble with work, relationships, substance abuse and physical ailments.

Researchers have been testing ways to treat it, and the new study looked at whether fast and strong pain relief can help prevent it.

It was unclear whether it was the fast pain treatment or something specific to morphine that made the difference.

But researchers theorize that simply easing pain might reduce the severity of the psychological trauma, or that prompt relief might alter the way the brain remembers the attack or injury – in essence, causing the mind to file away the episode as less traumatic.

Troops in the study initially were treated at military medical facilities in Iraq, mainly for wounds caused by roadside bombs, bullets, grenades or mortar fire. A few dozen had burns or were hurt in crashes or falls. The decision on whether to give morphine was up to the individual doctor, based on the patient’s condition.

Of the 696 troops in the study, 493 – about 70 percent – were given morphine, most within an hour of injury. Two years later, 147 of them had developed PTSD. Of the 203 not given morphine early on, 96 developed PTSD.

That worked out to a 53 percent lower risk of developing PTSD for those treated early with morphine. No other factor, such as the nature or severity of injuries, had much effect on the chances of developing PTSD, Holbrook said.

“These are provocative and thought-provoking findings that should lead scientists to investigate the underlying mechanisms” in future studies, said JoAnn Difede, a PTSD researcher at New York-Presbyterian/Weill Cornell Medical Center.

Difede and Barbara Rothbaum, who heads the Trauma and Anxiety Recovery Program at Emory University School of Medicine, said that until more research backs up the findings, the study probably won’t lead to many more patients in civilian emergency rooms getting morphine.

“At this point, I don’t see it having a huge impact” for civilians, Rothbaum said.

A second study in the journal found that Army wives were more likely to develop depression or sleep problems the longer, or the more times, their spouses were sent to Iraq or Afghanistan.

That study, by researchers at the University of North Carolina and elsewhere, examined medical records for outpatient care of about 250,000 wives of active-duty soldiers from 2003 through 2006.

Compared with wives whose husbands stayed home, those whose husbands were deployed for up to 11 months were 18 percent more likely to be diagnosed with depression and at least 20 percent more likely to be diagnosed with sleep disorders, anxiety and acute stress.

For wives whose husbands were deployed for more than 11 months, problems were even more common: They were at least 24 percent more likely to be diagnosed with depression or anxiety, and about 40 percent more likely to be diagnosed with acute stress or sleep problems.

The researchers didn’t have data showing whether husbands were deployed or at home when the wives were being treated for mental health problems.

That meant the scientists couldn’t conclude whether those problems were caused by worries about the spouse’s safety and the difficulties of being a single parent, or by stress caused by the returning spouse’s psychological problems or other behavior changes.

“I suspect that if you look at the Reserve and National Guard wives, the toll might be even worse,” because they have less social support than families living in a military community, Rothbaum said.

She said the effects of deployment on children also need to be studied so the military can figure out how to provide more help to families.

On the Net: http://www.nejm.org

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Update on how I’m doing and what’s going on

Hey everyone,

I know it’s been awhile since I’ve posted anything. My mother tells me that a lot of you are asking about me. Well….I’m doing as good as can be expected.

I’m still seeing a psychiatrist for the PTSD and depression and other things. The VA has determined me 30% disabled. Which means…..IT’S OFFICIAL, I AM A DISABLED VET. I think getting this “new” title was one of the happiest moments in my life. Not because I am a disabled vet, but because I will be able to get more help to better myself and move on as a civillian. Now, I know some people out there would look down on me for being happy about this title….but I dont care, some of my heros are veterans…disabled or not. I am very proud of my military background and will defend it, the Army, my brothers and sisters in arms (to include veterans), my family and this GREAT country we live in. I will not hisetate to give my life for any of those reasons.

I will be starting school November 24, 2008 (if all goes according to plan), at Motorcycle Mechanics Institute in Orlando, Florida. If all goes according to plan…the VA will be paying 100% for my tuition, and will give me cost of living pay on top of my disability pay. I hope that everything goes well, and goes off without a hitch.

I am taking a motorcycle safety course this weekend to help me get my motorcycle endoursment. If it don’t rain, I will be taking the course Saturday and Sunday. On Monday I plan on getting my CDL transferred from Texas to Mississippi and adding the endoursment to it. (God I can’t wait to not have anything to do with Texas anymore, certain areas are great, it has great scenery, but I just don’t like Texas).

As some of you know I am going through a divorce. Well, My soon-to-be-ex-wife, called me the other day and we actually had a civilized conversation. We discussed the divorce and everything went well.

My Grandfather is selling me a 1983 Honda Goldwing (Interstate Model limited Edition) for $1000. He traded his Honda Magna and $1000 for the bike. He said (when he made the offer to me) that he doesn’t really like the bike, and that he won’t ride it enough. He told me what he did to get the bike and said that if I give him is $1000 back, the bike is mine. I wish some of you could see and hear him when we talk about me riding. It’s like a little kid. You can see it in his face that he’s very proud of me. This will mean that 3 generations of the family are riding together, going on PGR missions and sharing the expierance of riding together. My family has a history of patirotism in it on both sides of my family, and we’re starting a legacy with that. Now both sides of my family is picking up motorcycle riding as well. My Grandfather, My Uncle Bert (mom’s bro), my mom, my dad (who’s been riding for a little over a month or two now), my Uncle Vincent (dad’s bro), and soon I will join the ranks of bikers in my family.

I am proud of my family’s heritage and legacy. I am proud to be among the ranks of veterans in the family, and soon to be among the ranks of bikers. Some of my friends ride too, so there is support from them too, and ofcourse….my friends are family to me as well. I hope that when I have a child (be it girl or boy) that I am able to help him/her carry on our family legacy.

In closing, I will say that with all the support from family and friends, and those of you I do not know, but still have support from. (through my mother) I am gratefull. I am doing way better than I was back in Febuary when I came to my mom’s to live. The knowledge of how low my life got and how dark everything was for me, will help me to keep my spirits up and find something to be happy or proud about. Thank you all. It means a lot to me. I want to ask those of you who pray, to pray for my bretheran that are still over seas and that are going over again or for their first time. Thank you all again for the support

With a great path in my life ahead of me,
Kenneth Elliott Jr.

SCOUTS OUT! RECON!

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My Son & the VA’s Suicide Prevention

My son is doing better and going to the VA in Biloxi, MS. But it took his getting to a very scary place for both him and my family to get to where we are now. He is going to the VA at least once a week and meeting with a PTSD group and they have him on medication. Even though I am happy and relieved to say that at this point he is no longer suicidal, he still has some very bad days.
There are several issues that I want to address and hope to be able to over time, but for now. I want to bring to you attention the issue of suicide. Suicide among our returning Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans is on the rise. Back in late 2007, to ensure veterans with emotional crises have round-the-clock access to trained professionals, the Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) began operation of a national suicide prevention hotline for veterans. Veterans can call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) and press “1″ to reach the VA hotline, which will be staffed by mental health professionals in Canandaigua, N.Y. who will work closely with local VA mental health providers to help callers.

Back in late 2007, about month after the start of the new hotline. VA Watchdog dot org reported that 4,500 people had already called the hotline. Of those, 100 were admitted to Va Hospitals. I couldn’t fine any number on how many received outpatient help, like my son. But they do report at that time, some 50,000 troops were retuning from the War/Combat zones with some type of combat related mental health stress.

From the VA’s Mental Health page

Suicide is the 11th most frequent cause of death in the US:  someone dies from suicide every 16 minutes.  Suicidal ideas and attempts to harm oneself are the result of problems that may seem like they can’t be fixed. Get help if you notice any of the following:

  • Talking about wanting to hurt or kill oneself
  • Trying to get pills, guns, or other ways to harm oneself
  • Talking or writing about death, dying, or suicide
  • Hopelessness
  • Rage, uncontrolled anger, seeking revenge
  • Acting in a reckless or risky way
  • Feeling trapped, like there’s no way out
  • Saying or feeling there’s no reason for living

The newest patients to the VA have been returning combat soldiers, men and women who served in Operations Enduring Freedom and Iraqi Freedom. (OEF/OIF). In a recent study, Dr. Karen Seal and colleagues at the San Francisco Veterans Affairs Medical Center and USC, reviewed  records for over 100,000 veterans,  who separated from active duty between 2001-2005 and sought care from VA medical facilities.   The most common combination of diagnoses found was post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and depression. Young soldiers were three times as likely as those over 40 to be diagnosed with PTSD and/or another mental health disorder. Most mental health problems were first identified during visits with primary care doctors, not with mental health professionals. Here is a Suicide Prevention Letter from the Under Secretary of Health.


Above video is from Half of Us.com

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Warriors & PTSD

I know many of you are familiar with the organization “Freedom Is Not Free”. But I know there are those out there that have not yet learned of these great people and what they are trying to do, to not only help our troops, but to also bring awareness to the American public of what it means to dedicate your life in service to your country, to be a Warrior.
Below are two projects that “Freedom Is Not Free” are working on. Please go and read them, learn from them and help make a real change in how our citizens see our Warriors, our Protectors. Your one voice can reach many others and can make a difference!

The first is very dear to my heart since I am dealing with this first hand through my oldest son. There are days that it is not easy to hear what he has to say, to hear his stories of combat. then there are days that I can laugh right along with him over some of the funny things that they do to relieve the boredom. But in the end, my son’s body may have returned home, in a healthy condition, but his mind didn’t, and now we have to work together to heal.

THE UNKNOWN CASUALTY OF WAR – PTSD

These soldiers are injured. These soldiers do not receive Purple Hearts. These soldiers may or may not receive benefits. These soldiers are forever changed. These soldiers suffer from posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD.) These soldiers are the unknown casualties of war.

Posttraumatic stress disorder is an anxiety disorder that is triggered after witnessing a traumatic event. In a war-zone, traumatic events are not uncommon and the men and women serving in Iraq and Afghanistan must bear the stresses placed on them, mentally and physically, as a result.

PTSD may be more widespread than is often acknowledged. According to Jim Garamone from the National Center for Posttraumatic Stress Disorder, 15-20% of veterans returning from Iraq and 6-11% of veterans returning from Afghanistan suffer from PTSD. And these are only the reported numbers.

read the rest here

The second is another that touches my heart. Coming from a long line of Military service members, you would think that I of all people would understand what it means to be a Warrior. Heck, I even went to Iraq and worked and supported many of these Warriors. But hearing their own words, talk about their thoughts feelings, and devotion to not only our Country, but to their brother, their sister, in arms, well….. if it doesn’t touch your heart and make you proud to be am American, then you have no heart. This is a film and a book that every American should see and read. Click on the headline to go to the site and view the trailer, because I can not put into written words what they can tell you. Just look, and listen for yourself.

WARRIORS….. in their own words

Our Mission is to Honor Our Warriors

and to raise funding through our documentary, portrait book and exhibit –

to aid wounded service members, their families, and the families of the fatally wounded.

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Missing IT

Hey everyone,

I know I don’t blog on here much, but for those of you who dont know me I’m Cindy’s son, Kenny. Now that I’ve got that out of the way here goes what I wanna blog about.

I’ve been missing being in the Army a lot. I’ve been thinking about trying to get back in….if the VA will allow me too. In order for me to get back in, I have to be cleared be the VA doctors. If for some reason my disability rating isn’t too high, I may just do it and go back in as a scout and do some schooling while I am in. Every time I remember the good times of when I was in, or watch something on tv that reminds me of it, I feel like something is missing from me…..Like there isa pieceof my soul missing. I feel like that about my wife, but that’s a different story, she left me isn’t comming back, but the Army is something I can get back in my life and it will help me as well. There is something about the life of a soldier that civillians will never be able to understand…. You here soldiers and vets talk about something they call “IT.” Either you have it, or you don’t. IT is something that will save your life in the face of all anilation. I’ve missed “IT.” I’ve missed being amongst people that are there for many reason, but there for one cause. The comradery you have in the military is something that you will miss for all eternity. Unfortanetly, that is something that I can never expiernce in the life of a civillian. My friendships with some of my military buddies will never end. Now that the rotations to Iraq and Afghanistan are back around, EVERYONE of my units that I have been with are either enroute, already there, or about to go BACK over there. Knowing this makes me feel sick to my stomach, becuase I can’t be with them. Yes I miss the action, yes I miss seeing new places, but I miss my friends, the job security, and more importantly amounting to something. Since I’ve gotten out, I’ve gained weight, I’ve gotten out of shape, and I have no drive or will power to get out and excercise. I miss the discipline, the friendships, the uniformaty, the since of being able to help others, the ability to better myself, the ablility to stand up for what I believe in. Call me crazy, but I miss being in the military. I know that means being in harm’s way at times…I know that means getting the SHIT kicked out of me when I screw up, but that’s what it takes to be a Soldier, a Marine, an Air Man, and a Sea Man. More than anything I just miss “IT.”

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My Son, PTSD & the VA

I want to thank everyone for all the kind words and prayers that have been sent our way. Last week was a very trying time for me and my family.Well, since my son came home from Iraq it has been trying at times, but last week was the worse for me, as a mom.

Kenny came home from Iraq troubled. Despite many of us telling him that he should wait, he got married 8 months after his return. He moved from the Arkansas National Guard to the regular Army and was stationed at Ft Hood, TX. Things went south from there. I wont go into it all but will say that he ended up getting out of the Army because of his PTSD and he and his wife are now split.

A few weeks ago he decided that he would get his CDL and become a truck driver like me. I was proud that he wanted to follow in my foot steps, but trucking is a hard lonely life and that is something I really didn’t want for him. But, he is an adult and I had to let him do what he thought was best for him. He did his 3 weeks of school and was out with a trainer for one week, when he had what I will call an episode. He did the right thing  and told the company. They decided that he was to much of a risk and sent him home. the only thing good out of that at the time that I could see was that he did get his CDL. I juts needed someone that would finish training him. He didn’t want to run with me because he thought that might cause problems between us. I have a friend that was willing to take him on and so things were looking up.

Then last weekend, Kenny called me, crying his eyes out. “Mom, I’m tired. I’m tired of hurting, I’m tired of life, I tired of everything.” he said. I couldn’t calm him down. He didn’t want the pending divorce, he was tired of the problems with the PTSD and not sleeping. He wasn’t eating but one meal a day and was having to force himself to do that. I understood, but then again I didn’t, and I damn sure didn’t know what to do for him. I have been trying to get him to go to the VA since he got out of the Army, but he just wouldn’t go. He would give me one excuse after another why he couldn’t or wouldn’t go. From what I knew of his tour in Iraq I also didn’t understand why he had PTSD. Yes, I know I have dealt with my own PTSD and do every day, but from the stories he had told me, I had seen more combat related crap that he had. I had been through more and I was coping with it. Finally he told me a story that gave me some in-site as to why he was having problems. I wont tell that story it is his to tell when he is ready.

When I got off the phone with him I called his Dad and asked him to call and talk to him. I was worried that he might hurt himself. He had told me that he wrote a very dark poem and had been thinking about suicide. I was scared!!!

A several hours later Kenny called me back. “Mom, you may not hear from me for a while after Monday. I called the VA suicide hotline and am going to the VA Monday.” he said. It was all I could do to not break down and cry right there on the phone. But he didn’t need to hear that so I stuffed those emotions down inside and tried to talk to him. I was in west Texas on my way back from California to the New Orleans area. I asked him if he wanted me to take him to the VA Monday morning. I was worried about leaving him alone. I knew he was staying with friends, but I wanted to make sure someone was watching him all the time. He said, “yeah” and I called my dispatcher. I explained what was going on and that I needed to go to Temple. They told me to go and 3 hours later I was hugging my son and fighting my tears. The hug seemed like it went on forever, but he just didn’t want to let me go and I was not going to pull away.

We got a hotel room and talked. Monday morning we waited for the lady that the hotline said would call him. When 0900 rolled around and we had not heard from anyone, he called the number the hotline gave him. She didn’t answer and he left a message. We kept waiting. Then he called the VA suicide hotline again. They told him that the psychologist had 24 hours to call him and to please be patient. I lost it! I was angry! How can they ask someone that is thinking about killing themselves to wait 24 hours t=from someone to call them back?! Yes he was with friends when he called them the day before, but that didn’t mean that he could not have gone ahead and done it if he wanted to. I told him to call the VA directly.

While on the phone to someone there, a OEF/OIF Social worker call him. She asked where we were and if he needed a ride. He told her that I was there and had my bobtail. She said that she would come get him anyway. When she arrived she asked him several questions. Since I was standing there, I got to hear the answers…..and I didn’t want to hear them. She asked if he had a plan on how to do it. He told her yes. She asked how then and he told her. That was hard for me to hear so I told them that I would go check us out of the hotel and then follow them to the VA center.

We spent all day there. He got enrolled at the VA, saw the psychologist, and went to the Texas Vets office to get his disability started. The psychologist told him that he would probably get 70 to 90% disability due to his PTSD. The concern was the classification, employable or unemployable. She put him on some medication as well. He didn’t want to take it. He is scared that he will be on it the rest of his life and doesn’t want to be that way. I can’t say that I blame him for that, but I told him that he really needed to take it for now. It would help him till they could get him into care and teach him how to cope with it all.

After all day sitting there we went back to the hotel, they wanted him to come back the next day to finish his paperwork. He called his friends to tell them that the VA was not going to put him in the hospital. His friends told him that he was welcome to com back to stay with them, but that he could not freak out nay more. He couldn’t say that for sure! I told him to come home with me and we would get him into the Biloxi VA. The next day we went back to the VA, and told them he was coming home with me. we then called his friends and get his stuff. He is now in Mississippi at my house. My other two sons and pregnant daughter-in-law are there as well looking for now looking for jobs, so he is not alone. They are keeping a good eye on him and taking him to the VA. Also my Dad lives next door and is trying to watch things from there without intruding.

Kenny went to the Biloxi VA yesterday and they agreed with what the Temple VA told him. They don’t want him working for now and are getting his disability claim set up. the only thing with that, is that it could take months for him to start getting the disability. In the mean time, he is taking his meds, and will be seeing a psychologist.

If it is OK with everyone, I would like to make a series of post on our dealings with the VA. I have heard from MANY Vets that our VA system sucks! My son, me and our family are fixing to get to know it very well and I would like to share as much of the experience with ya’ll as I can or Kenny will let me.

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Personal Request

I hate to bring to much of my personal business here, but I am in need to your supporting thoughts and prayers right now for my oldest son. He is former Army and an Iraq War Vet. He is going though some very trying times right now and if things go as I hope, will be admitted to the VA hospital tomorrow. I wont go into it all right now…. I simply can’t. I just ask that you give what positive support and prayers that you can.

UPDATE
We made it through the night and are waiting form someone from the VA to come pick us up. I guess they don’t want my bobtail down there or think I can’t park it there. One thing I know for sure, I am going with him! I am in hopes that if they admit him I can take him back to Mississippi to the VA Hospital there to do it. At least he will have family around there. right now I just do not know.

I do have another request. Does anyone know what the policy’s of the VA’s Suicide hotline are? Why would they want you to wait 24 hours for someone to call you back? I am very angry at this! Just because you have friends around does not mean that nothing will happen!

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Just when you think your over it…overcoming being abused

I had an encounter this past week that made me wonder if I was really over being abused or not. I am not going to go into what happened, just to say that it made me start thinking. I never freaked out during the ambushes in Iraq, but on that night, I did. Having been a two time abused wife I have found that I lock the fear feeling down inside me. I don’t allow myself to feel it to much. Maybe that is how I survived all those years staying with my abuser, I don’t know. Through many counseling sessions after the second one tried to choke me to death, I thought I had gotten over it. Yes, I still tense up when someone tries to touch my neck or even in joking, makes a move toward my throat. But for the most part, the nightmares have died down and I don’t wake up gasping for air every night like I use to.
But the other night I felt as if it had just happened. And after I climbed in my truck, I continued to feel scared…. to the point of being paranoid. Several hours later and after talking to my brother and a good friend, I calmed down and I started to think.

I have moved on in my life. My life is better than it was before I went to Iraq. I have bought a house, and have a job that is a good balance between driving and home. My kids are grown and trying to live their own lives. Two of them are living with me for now and looking for jobs. I am getting a chance to know them better and enjoying it. I have my first grand-baby on the way, (even thought I am not old enough to be a grand ma!) I have written a book and the movie based on it, is in the works. My life is good.

But…

I have been out on a few dates with some great guys and some not so great guys. In trying to make sure that I don’t make the same mistake and follow the typical “battered wife” path, I push people away. I look for those red flags that show that they wont fit what standards I have set in my mind or that they might become another abuser. I refuse to allow myself to become the person that I was before going to Iraq. I found out so much about myself and who I am while I was there and since I can home. I am a better, stronger person today.

But this past week, on that night, I didn’t feel that way. I felt like I was that same battered wife that was lucky that she walked out of that hotel room in UT alive. I felt weak, scared, and confused. Many times I have talked to women in the same situation and told them that it gets better in time, that they will learn to get over it in time. But I think I was wrong. I don’t think you ever “get over” being abused. It doesn’t just go away and you are all better.
You just learn to live it.

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2am Call

The alarm goes off at 0200.
I shut it off. I do not want to get up yet and drive, even though I know I should.

Just as I am falling back to sleep the phone rings.

I dont know the number, but I answer it anyway.

“Is it to late to call?” a male voice says. “If you are in the states, yes, but if you are overseas, then no.” I say.

The voice says, “Well, I use to be overseas.”

I respond with, “Then it is not to late to call. What’s wrong? Are you ok?”

This is a call that I have received many times in the last year since I have been home from Iraq. A Soldier, or Civilian Contractor that has spent time in Iraq is having a hard time sleeping, driving, or just making it throught the day or night and needs someone to talk to that will understand. So I get the call. I don’t always know what to say, but at the very least I can listen. Sometimes that is all they need. I know at times, that is all I need. To know that I am not alone, that there is someone out there that understands what I have seen and done is enough at times to help me calm donw and go to sleep or make that next mile.

Many times have I been told by family or friends that I should shut my phone off when I go to bed. But I can’t! Not only do I still ahve several friends working in Iraq, but I have people here that just need a friendly ear. I have the belief that if they are going to put their lives on the line for our country and go to Iraq, either as soldier or civilian, the very least I can do is answer a phone in the middle of the night when they need someone to talk to.

Yes, it makes for some broken sleep and long days the next day sometimes, but how could I not answer? If not for a few friends that were willing to answer their phones in the middle of the night, several years ago when I had night mares of my ex-hubby trying to kill me, I am not sure that I would be as sane as I am today. I am not sure that I would still be here. So how can I not do that for those that have given so much? Simple, I can’t.

So I answer the phone.

“There is a bad thunderstorm here and I am not doing good.”

“I am driving through a part of town that reminds me of Iraq. I can’t help but watch the rooftops for snipers, even thought I know they are not there because I am in the states now.”

“There was something in the road that looked like and IED and I nearly ran off the rode trying to miss it.”

“It is raining and I can’t get myself to go faster than 60mph. I keep expecting the truck/humvee to get squirley like it would in Iraq on wet roads.”

“The flashing lights from the radio towers bother me. They look like tracer fire off in the distance.”

“I had a bad dream. I woke as my truck/humvee was being hit with an IED or small arms fire.”

“A car just back fired and I freaked! I thought I was being shot at again.”

These are just a few of the things that I am told at the begining of the call. Some of them I have had myself. What do you say to someone that tells you this at 2 am? I tell them I understand exactly how they feel. There is usually a silence then as they try to figure out what to say next. I try to distract them. I try to take their mind off what is causing these feelings. They will talk about what has happened when they are ready to. Maybe in this call, maybe in the next. All I know to do is to just talk about something, anything, to calm them down.

When they do bring up what happened, it is a mix of today and yesterday. Why is this happening? Why is this happening again, I have not had a flash in a few months?! I don’t know the answer to that one. I just know what I have been told. That it never goes away, you just learn to deal with it. Sucky answer, isn’t it! But what else can I tell them, or myself when this happens?

I remind them that they are not alone. After a few minuets, or even an hour or so, we hang up with my telling them to call any time, day or night. I may not know what to say, but I can listen.

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