Dealing With A Disability
I have days that I wonder my me. I have days that I am ok with it all and others that I wish I could find a hole to crawl in to. And then there are days like today where I am so frustrated with the limitations and there are so many feelings going on that I don’t know if I should laugh, cry, or what!
I have taken care of myself and done what I wanted to, when I wanted to for a long time now. Being reticted as to how much weight I can lift and how I can use my wrists has interfeered with my life so much that I feel that the quality of it has deminished. I have to rely on people to take notes for me in class. I am going to need help when working on the pick-up. When I go shopping I have to tell the cashier to not make the bags to heavy. I have to have something on wheels to carry my books for school. I can’t pull on much and can push on even less. I can’t turn a door knob all the way around.I can’t ride my motorcycle as long, as far, or as much as I use to. That is just some of the things I can no longer do much of.
So today I ask “why me?” Why so bad? How am I going to survive this and live a full, exciting life? How do I get myself to the aceptance stage when every time I think I am there, I run into something else that I have to ask for help with?
Cindy I know how this “disability” may feel to you. But if you will look at it in another light. You have always relied on your self for everything. Knowing you could not get where you wanted if you didn’t do all the work your self. There are times when strength is good and there are times when this very strength can be a hindrance to us. It keeps us from using our strength That God has given us in other areas. The strength to use ourselves in other areas. We as a family and friends have watched how you can operate within your life through your own strength, now we must watch how you either achieve or not achieve without those strengths you once had. You must fall back upon that inner strength that we all know is within Cindy. To do no matter what. The limitations are only limited if you do not open the door for others. All of us within our lives has to know how to do this. It is not a sign of weakness or limited abilities. It is a sign of allowing others within our lives to do so they can stretch their abilities. The experiences of those people we allow in are endless. And our ability to see our selves as human are also endless. So while it may seem a disability, it has opened new doors for new exploration to you. And I know you, you will take the bull by the horns and run with it. Because if ever there was an explorer, it is you. So explore and sore. I love you, Aunt Sandy