The “Broke Pickers Club”
It’s kind of funny some times how things work out in life, weather it is money, job, family or love. Many times I have thought that I am happy with my life just the way it is, and then something happens and I wonder what if…..
Since I have been home recovering from my fall off the flatbed last November, I have made some really great new friends! Out of those new friendships I have seen some great marriages and relationship. (At least that is the way they look from the outside) When I see these friends together and watch how they interact, I think to myself, “Why can’t I have something like that?” Most of the time, I am totally OK with being alone. I don’t have to worry about being lied to, cheated on, or beat on. Some times I wonder if I keep myself single for that very reason.
I have also finally had time to create a Facebook profile. On there I have reconnected with some family, a few high school friends, former contractors I worked with in Iraq, some trucker friends, and made many new friends. It has all been real cool! I have taken some of the crazy and sometimes stupid quizzes on there as well. I don’t take them seriously, they are just fun to see what I will get on the other end and many times it is something to make fun of. But this morning I took one that was called “RAT- Relationship Aptitude Test!” and the result was “You need an exterminator!”
In order to avoid attracting nasty rodents and perilous pests you need a better Rat trap or to stop putting out such big chunks of chees…e~ Most of us are trained and programmed to be externally referenced, we learn that if someone likes us or wants to be with us we have value, in other words if someone wants our cheese we must be worthy of being loved! Here’s a news flash, all Rats eat cheese, they don’t care what kind it is. It doesn’t matter how pretty you are, or smart or how good you are in bed, you are wasting your time. It’s what Rats do. And whoever has the cheese is where they will go. So if you want to be in a relationship with another Rat keep doing what you are doing. If not heed my warning: Learn the difference between a Rat and a two legged, single, healthy, available person who wants a relationship. And don’t worry about all those rats, they will find some more cheese! You just stay out of the gutter and you should be fine
As I said, normally this is just something fun to pass the many hours I have to just sit here and be a couch potato. When I posted my result, I made the comment, “Oh tell me about it! This is why I have been single for so long….my picker is broke and I am trying to fix it!” A friend of mine in TN saw that I had taken the quiz on the news feed and took it herself with a similar result. We kidded back and forth about how we needed to start a “Broke Pickers Club” for those of us that can find the one and only weed in a field of flowers!
As she and I were making these comments back and forth, another friend of mine( I will call her Ms ‘M’) hit me up on the IM. She knew that I had a very special trucker friend (Mr ’X') stopping by and we had a dinner date (I cooked dinner) and she wanted to know how it went. Ms “M’ and I have been through some of the same crappy abusive relationships in our lives and we have a special bond because of it. We know how the other thinks on some things and can give them a kick in the tail when they need it and know we are still going to be friends through it all.
Well, I guess it was my time to get a boot in the a$$! I told her the dinner date was OK. He showed up late, really didn’t want to eat and seemed distant at times. We talked about many things during the evening and some where in there I said to myself, “This isn’t going to work!”, several times. Now to give him the benefit of a doubt, he did tell me on his way in that he was a bit nervous and maybe that was the problem. According to Ms ‘M’, and I quote, “You don’t want to be lied to. You don’t want to be cheated on. You don’t want to be beat on. You don’t want to be told what to do. You don’t want to be taken advantage of. You don’t want to be used. And that is all well and good. BUT… You have your 10 commandments posted on the door and you read them before you let people enter your life. Even though they are common sense. That can be scary to many people.”
As we chatted I thought about this and the quiz and the date. I thought,”What is wrong with knowing what you want and don’t want?” Yes, most of them are common sense. But is it the common sense ones that are scary, or the others that are details of the kind of person I would like to be involved with? You would think that if you knew what you wanted, that it would be easier to find it. BUT that is not the case! Oh yes, it does help a person from picking one weed after another, but I wonder some times if I am also passing up a few flowers in the process. Of course there are those weeds that look like flowers that slip through the weedanator once in a while. Those are the ones that make me step back and take another look at my “10 Commandments” again and wonder why I didn’t see it in the beginning. Those that slip though don’t last as long as they once did, but it does start a person thinking, “My picker is broke! Now how do I fix it?”
Cindy I SO agree. It seems like every time I find one that I think is a flower, they turn out to be a big ole nasty weed. (The last one for instance) Even after I moved from Texas to Kansas, he’s still doing everything he can to screw with my life. (I think he’s decided to make it his mission in life!) It sounds like we BOTH need to work on our pickers. If I figure out what’s wrong with mine, I’ll be sure to let ya know. I know that right person is out there for both of us, hopefully the next time, my picker will work like it’s supposed to.
i read you blog. and im a member also. ive been married 3 times and im tired of the dating game as well. but you know when you pull out the weeds in the garden when you dont know if its a flower or not. it is gone. you have to remember the last time you deweeded to know what it is. a keeper or not. some times you have to let it grow alittle before you deside. but when its true weed pull it and burn the roots so it never comes back. dont feel sad for the roots. there will be a graden down the road where it might be welcomed. its no longer your problem. those nasty weeds can take over your whole yard. keep lookig in the garden for that one flower that smells good, looks pretty and you like to bring in the house. it may not be there this year so walk the park and see if anything can be transplated. it may be a weed to someone elses garden but fit just right in yours. the seasons changes and the wind blows. never know when that seed will drift towards you. haveing a scare crow is good but some scare crows are frightening. they have garden tools and carry poisons that will kill the new seed before it can even hits the dirt. dont worry too much about the birds carrying the seeds off…if the seed wants to stay in your garden than it will try to make roots pretty fast. so let that seed grow alittle on its own. pick a place it wants to root up and watch it grow before you take it out of the dirt and replant it in a flower pot to go in your window. it may die from too much stress. may your garden be healthy and happy. you will be the same. i wish all of us luck…and no black thumbs allowed.