WARNING****WARNING****WARNINGThis is not for Kids (under 18) to read

Cindy in Iraq Book-It was two o’clock in the morning on the night of March 9th. I was asleep in my room in the Safir, a resort in Kuwait where KBR housed a lot of it’s contractors.Somebody else was in the room. I didn’t hear him come in, but I knew he was there. He was holding a knife at my throat. He told me to keep my mouth shut. What happened next wasn’t really happening to me. It was happening to somebody else. I was just watching. She realizes in an instant why he was in the room, why he had a knife, what he wanted. “Don’t make a sound,” he is saying . “Not even a whimper. If you do, I’ll slit your throat and fuck you until the last drop of blood drips from your body.” She feels his fingers stab into her. She is biting her lip, trying not to scream. But shouldn’t she? Does she want to live throught this? does it matter if he kills her? What about the other women in the building? If she screams and they hear her and try to help her, will he kill them, too? She feels terrible pain. The knife is pressing harder, and so is he. He stops for a moment, looks up, and sees a picture of three boys taped to the headboard of her bed. “I’m sure your boys wuold like to see their mom again,” he says. “Antoher sound out of you and they will, but in a box.” When did she make any noise? She didn’t make a sound, or did she? She shakes her head–” NO! Don’t kill me!” —and as she does, she can feel a sting as the knife cuts her slightly. The boys! That’s it. She’ll think about them, concertrate on them. She will get throught this so she can see the again. “Oh God, he is hurting me! “She screams, but it is a silent scream. She is with her boys in a playground near her mom’s house. She can hear her youngest boy telling her that she’s the best mom in the world. The two of them are haning upside down on the monkey bars. He grabs her hair and jerks her head. What did she do? She didn’t make a sound. She asks her son why he said that. Another sharp, awful pain. “Because you know how to be a kid,” her son says. “And how to have fun.” He tells her that she is good, nice and tight. She laughts and tells her boys that she has the three best dons in the world. He tells her that if she’s lucky, he’ll visit her again in the future. Her son smiles and laughts as they swing onthe bars with the blood rushing to their heads. He’s going to o come back and do this to her again? She knows she couldn’t live throught that. They race each other to the sweings to see who cna swing higher. Antoher stabbing pain. Get it over with, she is thinking. Just don’t kill me. Even though she thinks he is killing somethign inside her. They boys are older now. It’s is Christmas. The oldest boy is telling her about the girls who say he’s a good dnacer. They want to know where he learned to dance so well. How ong is he going to torture her? How much more can she take? “I told them I learned to dance from my mom, ” the boys says. “The girls thijnk that’sso sweet.” His mom can feel tears rolling down her cheeks. Did she make a noise? She thought she heard something. He didn’t seem to notice. How did that nightgown get above her breast? She doesn’t remember him lifting it up that far. She asks her boy if he wants to dance. They look at each other and smile. Another sharp pain, but this one is the chest. She wimpers as he bits down hard on her nipple. The boys run into the living room and clear away the furniture. She is trying not to scream, but it hurts. It feels like he is tyring to bite off her nipple. The oldest boy cranks up the stereo. First, a bit of rock and roll. He is whispering in her ear again, but she can’t make out the words. they jam to the music, and the find some oldies. she and her boy take to the floor and do the fox-trot. Again he wispers into her ear. but this time she can hear what he is saying. “Get up. Come on and get the fuck up.” He leads her to the bathroom, with the knife at her back. He shuts the door and locks it behind him. He tells her to turn on the water as hot as it will go. She is paralyed. she can’t do it. He grabs her hair and puts the knife to her throat and turns onthe shower. It doesn’t takke long before the water is scalding , burning her skin. She wants to scream. The two toher boys are laughting as their brother and their mom do the fox trot. “Scrub harder, all over your body.” he tells her. Her body feels numb. He starts to scrub her, and doesn’t even flinch when he comes in contact with the scalding water. He scrubs so hard it feels like he is peeling off her skin. He scrubs down between her legs. God, it hurts. When he is satified that she is clean enought, he tells her to stay in the shower until he is gone. “You were a good girl. I like it,” he says. “now, don’t move and dont turn off the water until I’m gone. If you tell anyone about this, I’ll come back and you woj’t be so lucky. You’ve given me so much pleasure and I would hate to have to kill you” He opens the bathroom door and leaves. She turns off the water, sits down, and cries. She’ll never remember how long she stayed there, crying when she wakes up after this horrible night, her body is bruised and sore. She tires to call in sick. they tell her she has to come to work, because they are short handed. She gets up, takes a shower, puts on her clothers, and catches a bus to takek her to the yard, just like nothing ever happend. She can’t allow this to take over her mind. she cna’t tell anyone , because she doesn’t want him to come back.