Missing IT
Hey everyone,
I know I don’t blog on here much, but for those of you who dont know me I’m Cindy’s son, Kenny. Now that I’ve got that out of the way here goes what I wanna blog about.
I’ve been missing being in the Army a lot. I’ve been thinking about trying to get back in….if the VA will allow me too. In order for me to get back in, I have to be cleared be the VA doctors. If for some reason my disability rating isn’t too high, I may just do it and go back in as a scout and do some schooling while I am in. Every time I remember the good times of when I was in, or watch something on tv that reminds me of it, I feel like something is missing from me…..Like there isa pieceof my soul missing. I feel like that about my wife, but that’s a different story, she left me isn’t comming back, but the Army is something I can get back in my life and it will help me as well. There is something about the life of a soldier that civillians will never be able to understand…. You here soldiers and vets talk about something they call “IT.” Either you have it, or you don’t. IT is something that will save your life in the face of all anilation. I’ve missed “IT.” I’ve missed being amongst people that are there for many reason, but there for one cause. The comradery you have in the military is something that you will miss for all eternity. Unfortanetly, that is something that I can never expiernce in the life of a civillian. My friendships with some of my military buddies will never end. Now that the rotations to Iraq and Afghanistan are back around, EVERYONE of my units that I have been with are either enroute, already there, or about to go BACK over there. Knowing this makes me feel sick to my stomach, becuase I can’t be with them. Yes I miss the action, yes I miss seeing new places, but I miss my friends, the job security, and more importantly amounting to something. Since I’ve gotten out, I’ve gained weight, I’ve gotten out of shape, and I have no drive or will power to get out and excercise. I miss the discipline, the friendships, the uniformaty, the since of being able to help others, the ability to better myself, the ablility to stand up for what I believe in. Call me crazy, but I miss being in the military. I know that means being in harm’s way at times…I know that means getting the SHIT kicked out of me when I screw up, but that’s what it takes to be a Soldier, a Marine, an Air Man, and a Sea Man. More than anything I just miss “IT.”
Don’t take this the wrong way, but I honestly don’t think “comradery” will cure you. You need some serious counseling. Think of the millions of people who’ve never had the chance to serve in the military, and yet they get up every day to be a productive member of society.Let me tell you that SWAT officers have a similar esprit de corps that you mention. You will never experience that as I take it you have never been in law enforcement. But let me tell you, it is a total high – the service, rescuing hostages, the weaponry, the power, etc. But once we get shot up or injured and have to transfer out of the department, we have to still carry on like adults.It’s time for you to grow up son. Please get some counseling. Think of all the poor blacks on welfare and the illegal immigrants waiting in the parking lot to get labor jobs. If they can get motivated to work, why can’t you?
Kenny,Bottom line unfortunately is that despite missing ‘it’, you were not able to deal with everything that comes with ‘it’, hence the VA issues. You are not alone as many former veterans suffer from PTSD. I commend you for your service but its now time to take a back seat and find something else to do. The army would be crazy or derilict in their duty if they allowed someone with such a significant pre-disposing factor to re-enlist for Iraq. I also think you would really struggle to get any benefits the second time around after knowing how it affected you.Once again, you did a great job and no one should question your courage or patriotism but psychologically you have shown that you are not up to ‘it’. I would need to fully trust anyone else in my ‘weapon pit’ and not need to worry if they were going to lose it at the worst possible time. I wish you all the success and luck for the future but do not re-enlist. Your future lies elsewhere.Until the army gets a test to weed out those unsuitable for combat prior to basic training/deployment we will continue to have numerous PTSD issues amoung veterans. None of them should be going back to combat, ever.
GOPeagle,
I really think that you have missed the whole point to my sons post! He is going to the VA and he IS getting help. Working is something that the VA is not allowing him to do right now! So your comment that he needs to grow up and go to work, is out of place. I don’t know if you have served in the military or not and your talk about SWAT officers is probably true. But what soldiers like my son need is not to be put down for expressing their feelings and thoughts as they try to recover themselves and a life. They need people that will encourage them to get better.
I was not in the military BUT do understand his wanting to “go back” as I was a civilian contractor truck driver in Iraq for two years. I understand what he is talking about when he says that every time he hears of his buddies being sent back that he wishes he could go. I also understand the comradely that he misses. I had that with the guys that I worked with over there. I can tell you that there is not a day that goes by that don’t think about the ones still over there and hope that they have good people watching their backs. I hope that they have good CC’s that will stand up against the company for them when it come to their safety.
Now as for you comment about all the poor blacks on welfare, I have an opinion that is not very popular and you will probably argue with me about. I believe that 90% of the PEOPLE, (IT’S NOT JUST BLACKS!!) on welfare could work if they would swallow their pride and take that job at McDonald’s or any thing else offered to them. For to many of them it is not that they CAN’T work, it’s that they WONT work! They live better on the system than they do if they work! As for the illegal immigrants, they shouldn’t be here anyway!
Cindy,Yes, Kenny is getting help, but he is also wanting to re-enlist. He should not do that under any circumstances. Help him to find a new direction. A war zone is not for him. If you think things were bad before, wait until a second deployment ends. I understand you want to help him as best you can but allowing him to think re-enlistment is a possible option is not helping.None of this is Kenny’s fault or your fault it’s just how things are. Kenny’s mental health and combat do not suit each other. I took a chance on other drivers being up to it in Iraq, I didn’t know a thing about their psychological make up at the time and took it on faith. I know all about Kenny’s, I couldn’t put my faith in him being 100% there when the shit hits the fan.
Paul,
Is there something wrong with just the simple feeling of missing “IT”? I don’t think so. I don’t believe that the VA will clear him enough to get back in the Army, and he knows this as well. He and I talked about all this several times, tonight as a mater of fact. And he mentioned several of things you did. But feelings are feelings and there is nothing wrong with expressing them. I set him up with this authorship in hopes that he would find encouraging support and be able to get some of his thoughts and feelings out. I also hoped that the public might have a chance to see the other side and what some of our returning Veterans are dealing with. Do you know how high the suicide rate among Iraq Vets is? It is at the highest it has ever been for returning Veterans of any war. Maybe it is in how they screen the people joining. I believe that a lot of it is that me hear more about t now because people are more aware than we have ever been as a nation about PTSD.
I agree that people suffering from PTSD should not be allowed back in combat. But I can also tell you, that knowing who will and who will not suffer from PTSD just can not be done. There are many still serving in the military that suffer from PTSD in varying degrees. And let me tell ya, knowing who will and who wont freak out when in “the shit” is not something that can be determined until it happens. And just because someone preforms with courage and honor in one battle does not mean that they will in the next.
I agree that Kenny should find something else to do. While he was in the Army I hoped that he would stay. He wanted to re-class, but they would not let him because the unit he was with was in “Stop Loss”. So rather than let him change jobs and get help while in, they booted him out. Had they not been in “Stop Loss”, they would have let him do those changes.
Right now I would like people to give him positive support. I point out what would happen if he got back in and like I said, talked about tonight. Some of the things you mentioned he said himself. He is not short sighted on it. He knows…. but more than anything, I think he just wishes and misses, if ya know what I mean.
KENNY THIS IS OLD DOGG I’M A VET AND I UNDERSTAND GET IT BACK START THE PUSH UPS RUNNING GET IN SHAPE IT IS IN YOU TO DO THIS IT IS WHAT YOU WANT GET IT BACK I STILL HAVE IT AND I’M 50 YEARS OLD AND IF IT IS WHAT YOU WANT IT WILL COME DAMN IS SON GET IT BACK THAT’S AN ORDER GOOD LUCK AND GOOD HUNTING.
Kenny, don’t worry about what other people think. I know what you’re taling about. I get IT. There are times I miss the military. The camraderie but most important, I miss working with people who are adults. In my experience, you don’t have the petty, childish behavior seen in civilian employment. Everyone was an equal, as much as rank allows, and you were respected for your ability to do the job. When I was a deputy sheriff, it was pretty much the same. We depended on each other for our safety. IT was there. Maybe not as much as in the military but there none the less. My advice to you is take your counseling seriously. Work your way through your condition and learn to handle it. Then maybe, just maybe, the military will let you come back. If not active then check the guard and reserves. If your condition improves where you can hold a job, find one where IT exists. Law Enforcement, Fire Fighting and other jobs exist where IT is there. Talk to the vets. They should be able to point you in the right direction. I wish you all the luck son.
Ok, obviously some people don’t understand. When I was still in the Army I didn’t have a problem when I was out in the field, or in the mist of “The Shit,” it’s when I am in garrison or sitting here at the house with nothing to do, that I have problems. As for you Paul, I understand what you said about not being able to trust me 100% of the time, but see there is when my training comes into play, I gaurantee you that if I was in Iraq right now, getting shot at and blown up, that I would still be able to do my job, afterwards, when we are back inside the wire is when I’d have a problem. You don’t know me, you don’t know my FULL PSYCHOLOGICAL profile, so DON’T judge me until you get to know me, or see me in action. As to my wanting to re-enlist, I’ve thought about all the pros and cons, I called a buddy of mine who is worse off than I am right now, and talked to him lastnight, he brought up some good points and the out come of our conversation was that I should stay out of the Army. I knew that before I even made my post last night. The sad fact is that it takes people like me, that have done their time, and should stay away from the military, to come back and defend this country, because of cowards that won’t. Frankly, I find that you really don’t understand, and will never understand, I understand that you were/are a civillian contractor, so you understand SLIGHTLY more than most, just as my mother does, but you both will never understand to the degree of what I went through or feel, UNLESS YOU WERE/ARE A SOLDIER IN IRAQ OR AFGHANISTAN. Now on to GOPeagle, you really missed the whole point, you should think before you speak. Your little speach about S.W.A.T., yes “IT” is on a S.W.A.T. team, but the “IT” on that team, any law enforcement team, firefighter team, EMS team, or anything of that nature is different from eachother, just like the “IT” I am talking about is different from what you are talking about. Your comment about the “blacks on wlefare” and the “immigrants,” get a clue, it’s not just blacks on welfare, there are white, hispanics, asian, you name it, all on wlefare, some need to be to help themselves, and some need to get off of it. The immigrants, well, that’s a topic that I just won’t go to much into, but I will say this, if they came legally, good more power to them, if they came illegally, go home. So GOPeagle, get a clue, and get informed, go talk to some military vets, and when you THINK you understand, just tell yourself that you really don’t. As to Marty and Old dogg, thanx for the support, I am doing all that I can to quote “DEAL WITH” or “COPE WITH” all of this and readjust to being a civillian again, but as I told my psychiatrist, I don’t look at myself as a civillian, I look at myself as a Vet, cause I am a Vet, and I still hold myself to certain standards, it’s hard to deal with the civillian life again because they don’t have the standards I am used to. Thanks again.
Kenny,I was a soldier in the Australian Army for 12 years so trust me I know all about ‘it’. I also know about those that can take ‘it’ and those that can’t. You think that you will be fine whilst in the middle of things and have an issue only when you are back inside the wire but you are wrong. It’s only a matter of time before you would have issues both inside and out and then I wouldn’t want to be counting on you for my life. With PTSD, as you know, the only gaurantee is that it does affect you at all times and without warning. Training will never overcome this. Counselling and moving on is the only treatment.Get better and become a fireman, sure it’s not the army but it is teamwork, danger, uniforms, courage and motivation. I would suggest not being a policeman as there will be times where you may have issues (guns, stress and violence) and the last thing your partner needs is to be by him/herself in the middle of a bad situation.You did your duty and have every right to get angry about the useless lumps that bag your service. But remember every citizen has the right to believe what they want and to express their opinion. You supposedly fought in Iraq for that principle, amoungst others. Now that some people in the USA disagree with you is part of democratic life, accept it and move on. If you can’t do that then you were fighting on the wrong side! Personally I am 100% behind the soldiers (doing their duty) and 100% against the war. The sooner they pull troops out of Iraq the better. Let them descend into civil war and kill each other.Miss your buddies, miss the job, miss the service, miss ‘it’ but get better and move on. We have Anzac day, I’m sure the USA has a similar day of rememberance where veterans get together and old times are talked about, beers are drunk and the fallen are remembered. This is where you can relive ‘it’.
“I believe that 90% of the PEOPLE, (IT’S NOT JUST BLACKS!!) on welfare could work if they would swallow their pride and take that job at McDonald’s or any thing else offered to them. For to many of them it is not that they CAN’T work, it’s that they WONT work!”That was my whole point. If Kenny is currently mentally unstable because of PTSD, he has no right to endanger other brave young men and women in uniform who need battle buddies performing at the top of their game.While Kenny is recovering, there are hundreds of jobs available to him. Not just fast food like Arbies or BK, but I have a landscaping company and would gladly hire him to mow or trim trees. Like you said: the question is does he want to work?
“Personally I am 100% behind the soldiers (doing their duty) and 100% against the war.”As Congresswoman Jean Schmidt remarked regarding John Murtha: “Only cowards cut and run”. We need to support our troops like Kenny and the Commander In Chief who decided to protect our great country from the Iraqi Islamofascists who so desperately hate our freedoms.I ask you to please respect the patriotism and heroism of our great men and women in uniform. Don’t let their deaths be in vain by leaving Iraq in humiliation. Each and every veteran who has died in Iraq, is a hero who made a huge difference in granting freedom to young Iraqi children. Why would you want to stop them from continueing to make a difference? Don’t let them die in vain.
OK, best wishes to you. It sounds like you are doing the right thing. Never let the VA give you the run around. Always keep documentation. They can sometimes be a frustrating beauracracy, but they owe it to you to find a solution. Good luck son. Semper Fi!
Yes, I would love to work and have a job and all. But the VA says that I need to focus on getting better, espicially since I lost my last job due PTSD. But When and Where I work is up to me, once I am prepared and have the apropriate copeing skills, the VA will clear me to work, and I will get a job, most likely driving trucks for a little while, sinceI have my CDL now. Or I may go to College and let the VA pay for it. So, I have a plan, and I am working on getting better.
Kenny please don’t take this the wrong way. Unless you have been in law enforcement, you will never understand. I don’t know what your military profile was so maybe you were an MP? Anyways, it is the same with men who were in SF or Navy Seals. You will never know that feeling unless you were in those units. It is a tremendous amount of pride and brotherhood. I imagine something like the bond between elite military units of history like the Spartans.I don’t know what branch you served with but let me tell you the Marines have a special bond. Even after you leave the armed forced, you are ALWAYS a Marine. Maybe it is not the same for you. A Marine keeps fit and corners tight and orderly for the rest of his life. It is a matter of personal pride. I do not begrudge those who either have never experienced it, or can’t hack it. As the motto says: THE FEW THE PROUD.An injury to the brain or psyche is just like a broken bone. You can’t be in denial about it. A paraplegic accepts the fact that they are in a wheel chair and it doesn’t make them any less of a man. Try to focus on helping others as that is the true measure of a man’s character. Semper Fi!
Glad to know that you were in the military, I know that I would be fine, because I don’t think about it while in the midst of things. It’s when I sit down and start to think about it and can’t shut it off until the next mission. I’m not the only one that is going through this. There are people in the Army now, and that are in Iraq and Afghanistan that are going through this as we speak. Yes PTSD doesaffect you all the time, there are some people out there that it makes more alert more aware, it did that to me, when I was in Iraq I went to combat stress, and I told them what was going on, the doctors interviewed some of my fellow soldiers in my unit, and they told them they could tell I was on edge, but, that edge is what made me better at my job.
I have thought about being a fireman, a cop, and even an EMS, but until I get better, I can’t do either one of them. Just so you know I WOULD NEVER LEAVE MY PARTNER IN A BAD SITUATION, If the time cause for it, I can bottle it up, and deal with it later. Unfortanitly, that later in now, and I’m having a hard time dealing with everything. That is why I’ve been going to the VA. So, I am working on getting better.
Thank you for acknowledging the fact that I did my duty. Yes, I am EXTREMELY PISSED OFF at the people that sit there and say horrible things about our soldiers……about MY FELLOW BROTHERS AND SISTERS IN ARMS.
Now to address your statement: “You supposedly fought in Iraq for that principle, amoungst others. Now that some people in the USA disagree with you is part of democratic life, accept it and move on.” I do not take it very kindly when you phrase your sentence the way you did. I can accept the fact that there are people out there that disagree with me. I disagree with a lot of people in this world. BUT DON’T, second guess my reasons for fighting in this war and enlisting in the military. I stand firm on what I believe in, and will fight for everything till the day I die and beyond. Your comment: “If you can’t do that then you were fighting on the wrong side! ” All I can say is HOW DARE YOU PRESSUME THAT, OR EVEN SAY THAT, I AM APAULED AND DISGUSTED.Thank you for supporting our troops, I understand your sintement about the war. I have always said if you don’t support the war, please by all means support our troops. I agree about bringing our troops home, but if we pull out to soon or more importantly too fast, more of our troops will loose their lives. If we don’t stay and finish this, the war will come home to the USA, and this country is not ready for that. Trust me, it will happen.Now that I have covered your comment paragragh by paragragh, let me combine the end of your comment. I am getting help, but it will take time to move on. We do have Federal Holidays to celibrate our Vets, and to remember the fallen, drink beers, and get together, they are called: Veteran’s Day, Memorial Day.
Kenny,I accept you would never knowlingly leave a brother or sister in combat. But the thing about PTSD is it does not allow you to have a say. It will be beyond your control when you have an attack. The risk is too great when you are not the one in control. I would not have had you back in my section.Many former service personell have returned home, even from Australia, and topped themselves due to PTSD. It’s a fact of life and while wars are fought it will continue to happen.Bottom line about democracy its an all or nothing proposition. You don’t get to pick and choose what parts you like and what you don’t. If you do then your just a hypocrite. I call hypocricy whenever I see it.The man who ordered you all to Iraq has stated his reasons for doing so. As a good soldier you went. If you did not agree with you CIC then you could have chosen not to enlist or if already in applied for discharge. In a free country you have/had that right. In regards to the withdrawl of troops, do you have that little faith in the abilities of your commanders on the ground to withdraw from Iraq without suffering horrendous casualties? There is no difference in convoy’s moving North and South daily and convoy’s pulling out in a staged withdrawl. The only blood bath would occur between the sunnis and shites, as it should. Yes things would be bad for a while, there would be no airconditioned buildings to sleep in and no showers, PX, DFAC, pool, burger king, movie theatre etc. etc. It would be a tactical withdrawl much like the way the army went in. They trained for that so whats the issue? I have heard the comment before about fighting in Iraq rather than the USA. So much for the idealism behind the war, better we kill them and destroy some non-US people and property than at home. I agree, but also better we don’t get another Vietnam. This war will never be won only endured. The moment I realised the war would never be won was watching the statue of Sadam getting pulled down. The moment was ruined when some dumb ass LT put the US flag on the statue instead of the Iraqi. You could see the mood of the people change. That was it, one dumb act and the future is set.The people will have their say in a year or so and if they vote for withdrawl so be it. If GoPeagle doesn’t want to cut and run he can become a merc and stay behind. It’s his choice, if he wants others to stay and do the dying he needs to become CIC. When I was beside my soldiers I was there for them and the mission alone. I was not there for my country or a stinking politican. If my country was invaded then I would also have been there for my country as well but it has never been invaded.Get better, move on, be proud and never forget.
In my opinion, the worst thing we could ever do would be to hastily leave Iraq so the terrorists would follow us home. I don’t know if you remember the pictures of the helicopters leaving Saigon and thousands of VC scum trying to force their way onto those birds. They want nothing more than to follow us back to the homeland to perpetrate their atrocities.Cowards like John Murtha and John Kerry (who recommended himself for a purple heart after he scratched his nose) make a laughing stock of our noble young men and women in uniform. Whether our brave freedom fighters make a stand for liberty in Haditha, Falluja, Baghdad, My Lai, or even the prison grounds of Abu Ghraib – they all deserve our respect and gratitude.I am truly sickened by those PC liberals like Barack Obama or Billary who try to use the young soldiers as pawns in their games of political power. A soldier doesn’t respect a weak-willed, conniving political hack like that but would rather take orders from a simple man with dignity and honor like G. W. Bush. Those in the military have always respected someone with the guts to do what is right, and not just pander for votes.
GoPeagle,Mate take a chill pill. I don’t seem to recall any images of american civillians falling into punjee pits on the way to McDonalds after Vietnam. In fact I seem to recall that the war ended and the USA returned to normal as did Vietnam. After some decandes of peace it seems that the Vietnamese government now wants western dollars and has opened up willingly. Possibly Iraq will sort itself out as well and then we can all book on a tour of the Zig and take our families just as I did to the Chu Chi Tunnels.You might want to leave the prison out of you rethoric as it was nothing short of shameful. Soldiers don’t do shit like that. Thugs and scum bags do, I can bet if you ever get arressted for DUI and end up getting the same treatment in a US jail you will squeal long and hard about the treatment you got. The difference between me and the soldiers doing the mistreatment is that I would have told the officer to get fucked and my men would have been with me all the way. I would have rather a transfer than be forced to do shit like that.In regards to heroes and non-heroes don’t forget the distinguished service record of your current CIC. I respect McCain and Kerry for their service. Like I said to Kenny I call hypocrocisy when I see it. Your current CIC has as much guts as a shiver looking for a spine to run up. He could have said thanks but no thanks dad I want to serve but he didn’t. I couldn’t respect him. But as I said I would have been there for my mates and not a politicans desires. If you want to die for a simple coward go right ahead. If he wants my respect he will be in the pit next to me and earn it.A soldier only needs to believe he or she will be supported by their government during and after their service. All politicans are scumbags more interested in their party than the people. If you can’t see that even the current CIC allows 5th rate service to be the standard for veterans then good luck to you.I went to Iraq as a DOD contractor because it paid better, the conditions were better and I was never going to need to rely on my government to look after me if anything happened. I didn’t want a medal or public adulatiion. I wanted my mortgauge paid off and my family set for life. I got what I wanted and moved on.
So you are openly admitting to be a war profiteer? How do you sleep at night?
Without any debt and with money in the bank, I sleep quite well. No PTSD for me, I knew what I was there for and knew the consequences so no after effects. I came home and hopped right into a truck and have not looked back.Only a fool puts his life on the line for a simple coward for free. I’m no fool.Don’t get me wrong though, if Australia is ever invaded I’ll be there with bells on and for free. But if some fool is throwing money away in the hope of getting cheap oil who am I to refuse his generous offer.But to take a 75% pay cut, work for fools all for a medal, no thanks.
Sniper, I know what you’re talking about. That special “IT” that seems to bond Soldiers to one another. But, let me tell you something important: you ARE a part of the military family. Just because you got out of the military, doesn’t mean we’ve disowned you. You’ve done more than 99% of Americans in serving your country. I fully support you coming back in the military, but I’m concerned about your health. You need to ensure that you take care of No. 1 first! I know it’s against the Soldier mentality to be selfish, but be selfish right now. Once you’re better come back in and kick some more ass.In the meantime, immerse yourself in veteran’s organizations that you identify with and tell your story. Work with your local American Legion. They all have “IT” as well and could use your experiences and help. Find a local JROTC program near you and offer your help to the instructors. As a young guy, you’d be helping the military effort dramatically by sharing your experiences and helping young people to understand the nobility of serving their country. You’re a strong young man who has done a LOT. You’ve survived war and returned with honor. Trust me when I say that I know how you feel about only deploying once and being frustrated seeing all your buddies and fellow Soldiers deploying for a second or third tour. I’ve been trying to get back since I returned, but because of my war injury I can’t go back either. So, I’m making the most with what I have. Sometimes, WE have to nurture “IT” ourselves. I hope this helps a little. Let me know if you ever need anything, brother. Tell Cindy (yo mama) I said “hi”.
“But if some fool is throwing money away in the hope of getting cheap oil who am I to refuse his generous offer.”
Boy, I’m sure the Iraqis just love you.
“But to take a 75% pay cut, work for fools all for a medal, no thanks.”That’s because you have no understanding of the meaning of honor and patriotism. You’re a greedy, selfish asshat who doesn’t understand self sacrifice. The only thing foolish about our chosen profession is that we do it for people like you, Paul.
CJ,Your just pissed that not everyone buys the CIC’s line. If the insurgents were in LA or New York then I would accept your flag drapped surge of patriotism.They are not.Soldiers in Iraq and other places are doing their duty, just like they signed up for. There is honor in that, but not in most of the missions they are sent on. You have lost the right to claim that after Abu Grahib and other incidents. Remember what one soldier does you all do. You all share the shame and dishonour. You don’t have to like it but your stuck with it. I learned that also from my service. It’s all to do with wearing the same uniform.Iraq will turn out to be Vietnam 2, at no fault of the soldiers on the ground.When I served with my mates I would have died for them. But for bullshit bush, no bloody way. I spoke to a number of aussie soldiers at Talil and they were all there for money (extra and tax free) and for the experience (it was real and what they trained for). Not one was pushing the save Iraq line or wearing a flag as a cape. One thing I’ll say for aussie soldiers is they have common sense.Keep your medal’s, proudly enjoy veterans day. It sounds like it’s what you needed and wanted. I wanted something different from my tour of Iraq. Looks like we both got what we wanted.
Paul, you worthless piece of shit. How dare you even attempt to pigeon hole me in to the same category as the assholes responsible for Abu Ghraib. How dare you attempt to minimize my medals with your warped view of reality through your shit-stained sunglasses.The only shame I share is that I haven’t done enough to vet failed abortions like you from getting military contracted dollars. I hold my head high and I KNOW what I did in Iraq. If you’ve got some ghosts in YOUR closet there’s nothing I can do for you. My service, and Sniper’s service, is no more stained by Abu Ghraib that yours is by My Lai! The bottle is calling. Better go suck another one down before you completely lose your mind. You are right about one thing: Iraq is exactly what I needed – the chance to kill terrorists!! I look forward to future opportunities. When do you join them?
You ignorant pompass ass, where the hell do you get the right to compare ALL soldiers to those complete morons from Abu Ghraib. I am very proud of my medals and awards, and I am proud of everything I have done. You are just upset that your dumb ass doesn’t have the balls to do anything to the MAGNITUDE that me or CJ has done. You are the type of people that give contractors and military personell bad names. Only in it for the money, and nothing else. If you had an ounce of patriotism in you, you would know there is more to this than just money…..And just for your information, the terrists WHERE IN NEW YORK, and they are still in our country, AND YOUR COUNTRY DUMB ASS. So before you open your uneducated mouth. Get educated, go learn your facts you Gooch.
Paul,
You know that I try not to censor any comments to my blog, but this time you have crossed that line. I will not have my friends and my family disrespected as you have done in this comment. I ask that if you can not be respectful, then please refrain from commenting at all. I will start deleting your comments if you do not.
Now, with that said, I do have a few comments of my own. The only people that would put all soldiers in one group and judge them all buy a fews actions are some very small minded people. And I guess if we are to use the mentality that you have stated here, then you and your Aussie brothers and sisters are nothing more than a bunch of convicts, since Australia was originally a penal colony.
So lets not throw stones here, because they will hit us all in the head!
CJ,
I am so sorry that you have had to endure this kind of treatment on my blog and that it has taken me so long to get to dealing with it. I have been sick and it is taking everything I have to keep going and trying to work till I see the doctor Monday and get my surgery scheduled. Trust me that this will not go on any more. You know that I love, respect, and support you and all our service members.
Please take care and tell your lovely wife that I said hi!
Cindy, I don’t hold you responsible. You didn’t force Paul the pathetic to speak. I know what kind of person you are. I apologize for my language. As you know, I don’t generally use those words, so feel free to edit them out. I just lost it.
Cindy,How many US service people returned from Vietnam and were called baby killers? I’m betting thousands more than were actually guilty of the crime they were being accussed of. The public, the people whose support some soldiers want, judge the army by the actions of its members as a group.You seriously don’t expect any reasonable person not to remember the old addage about a lifetimes good reputation destroyed by one misdeed! Wake up CJ. I don’t care what CJ and others think of me. He has his beliefs and nothing will sway him. Sort of fundamentalist if you ask me. I note CJ and Kenny decided not to bag GoPea for his support of Abu Grahib, bit hypocritical but not surprising considering his ‘never cut and run’ mentality.If CJ and Kenny et al can’t see the reality of public opinion then I’m sorry for them. What happened last time a Marine raped a Japanese school girl on Okinowa.? Did the people protest against the individual marine or the whole Corp. The whole Corp and US military combined. This is reality.If CJ doesn’t want to see the bad some of his brother and sister service personel are doing so be it. He is welcome to his unique view of the world. I expect to see him on the TV in a decade or so in faded desert cams whining about something.The only service personel I have true pride for are the draftees (US) and national servicemen (Aust). They were not professionals like CJ or I they didn’t even want to serve but when they were told to go they did. They are the true pillars of democracy.Professional soldier is an occupation. Just like driving an unarmoured truck along Sword. I wonder how CJ and Kenny would have gone without their uparmoured Humvee. I doubt we will ever know. Cindy, I’m out of here, to many one sided opinions. Feel free to delete whatever you need to. It’s your blog and you have every right to only allow your approved version to appear online. Good luck with the movie and book. As I said before I hope for your sake its all fact. Nothing worse than getting outed after the red carpet to ruin the memory of the day. Oh I loved the line about all us australians being convicts. You do know where the pommies sent their convicts before they found this place don’t you? In case you don’t, your standing on it;-)Kenny I hope you get better and find a new career and move on with your life.CJ, sorry but I’m not a recruit, I have a brain and have been around. I smell bullshit a mile off. Leave the spin for the fellow believers. Your a professional soldier act like one. The good comes with the bad. Accept it or discharge and try something else.Live long and prosper one and all.
Paul,
Yes, I know the history of how my country began.
I am sure that you have heard the saying that if you want to change the world it has to start with one person. I want to make a difference and I hope that the difference that I try to make in the world is a good and positive one and has a ripple effect. You are right, this is my blog and I have control over it. I have no problem with differing opinions as long as they are respectful. Two years ago I received MANY death threats and death wishes. They can still be found on this blog. I know you and some others are going to say that I am naive for some of my beliefs, but I do not judge all but what a few do. And if I want to change that kind of thinking in this world, then I have to start it here, in my world.
As far as the book and movie, the book is out and has been for almost 2 years now. There are many comments by readers on my web site about it. It is true to what I experienced. As for the movie, Hollywood does what Hollywood does and I don’t really have much control over that, but am trying anyway. I will be a consultant on it and have already told them that if it could not have happened, then I don’t want to see it in the movie.
As for CJ, he has his own blog and has called out the screw ups in the military and our government many times. I don’t remember GOPeagle saying that the crap at Abu Grahib was a good thing, but I will have to go back and re-read his comments later. Yes, what happened there looks bad on the military, but we can NOT judge all the military by those few and I wont have it done here. It’s like Blackwater and the bed actions of other contractors that I have been fighting for several years now. That is one of the reasons that I wrote the book and am working on the movie. Not all contractors as money hungry mercs! But yet, that is what hear about in the MSM. The only way to change that is to try to get the good stories out there. Those stories are only going to get out there if people like me put them out there.
Thing is, writing is good therapy and I hoped that my son would get positive support while he works on getting better. That didn’t happen with this post. It went off into a big political debate that did nothing but piss everyone off. You and I came to an understanding a long time ago on where we each stand on this subject. We have agreed to disagree several times. There were times that I felt attacked buy your words and the words of other readers, but sometimes what we mean does not come through in a short comment typed out. We can’t always hear the tone of what one is saying and sometimes just the wording can be miss-leading. I have found that one out the hard way and had to clear things up several times.
Take care, and if you choose to quit reading and commenting that is your choice.
Cindy,Thanks for your comments but you seem to be the only one reading some of what I actually wrote. I make allowances for Kenny as he’s not well. CJ on the other hand seems to be suffering as well, just not ready to admit it. He certainly couldn’t control himself very well. I hope he’s not like that in the field.I have refrained from using their type of language as I feel an argument is best done civilly, then we each get to hear the others reasons. CJ seems to get angry and abusive when he can’t respond adequately to an argument.GoPea’s comments were on the 24th.”noble young men and women in uniform. Whether our brave freedom fighters make a stand for liberty in Haditha, Falluja, Baghdad, My Lai, or even the prison grounds of Abu Ghraib – they all deserve our respect and gratitude”CJ and Kenny read the above comments but they like him and not me. That’s cool, hypocritical and typical but cool.I said society will judge an army by the actions of it’s members, not me. I know accidents happen, I also know sometimes the accidents are deliberate. CJ has every right to be pissed with what some of his uniformed colleagues have and are still doing. The biggest problem for CJ is that they keep doing them. The bad shit is instutionalised I fear and will never be fixed.I can’t comment on your book as I have not read it, or on your service with KBR and apart from a few local HET missions in Kuwait with IAP either. There are a few guys grumbling about things claimed from the KBR and IAP/PWC days. So I would watch out for some surprises in the future. I did tell you previously that while many journos would be interested in your story, some would only be interested in the dirt. These days especially.I am going as I have nothing to say that would make any difference. My life is fine and my and my families future set. I was here as a hobby not as therapy. I’ll find something more productive to do.I hope your life and family gets to be as good as it can be. I hope Kenny gets the help he needs and stays away from the re-enlistment office. For GoPea, I hope he always has someone buy him a bourbon, that way he will be in no fit state to get another human killed for his warped sense of duty and honour. Lastly CJ, survival is what I wish for him, its the same thing I wished for every trip North from Navstar.
Paul,You’re even more naive than I gave you credit for. Allow me to correct a few of your inaccuracies. I did NOT have an uparmored HMMWV when I was in Iraq – mine was canvas. I was in Iraq for the actual, when we didn’t have very many.Second, you say I have my beliefs and you have yours. The difference between them is that mine are backed up with experience and a first person perspective. Yours are backed up by innuendo and what you’re fed. As for Abu Ghraib, I personally attacked the Soldiers responsible for the atrocities there publicly on my website. I’m a realist, not biased hack.The only service personel I have true pride for are the draftees (US) and national servicemen (Aust). They were not professionals like CJ or I they didn’t even want to serve but when they were told to go they did. They are the true pillars of democracy.It is with this comment that you lose your credibility with me. Compulsary service more honorable than voluntary service? A true pillar of DEMOCRACY to FORCE someone into military service as opposed to giving people the choice to serve – true democracy. Thankfully, you’re “out of here” because I have nothing more to say you to you. You’re really not worth the time it takes to respond.