White Rose's Adventures

One Year Ago Today

It was one year ago today that I kissed my 3 boys goodbye, hopped on the back of my Dad’s motorcycle and made the drive to Memphis to catch a plane to Houston. WOW, in some ways, it doesn’t seem like it has been that long, but in others, it feels like longer. I have 5 weeks till my year is up. I have mixed emotions about it all. Happy, sad, confused, scared and, ready for more. Does that sound all mixed up? I am sure that it does. I know that I have changed a bit since I went to Houston and even more since I got over here. When I left the states to do this, I had all the “right” reasons in my head for doing it. I wanted to support our troops. Several family members have served in one branch of the military or the other, and now, even though I wouldn’t be in one of the branches, I could still serve my country, in a way. I know that in some ways I had a romanticized idea of what I would be doing, but I also knew that I would be going into a war zone. I have several friends that made sure that I understood that clearly. (Thanks guys) I know that I have said that I believe in what we are doing here and why we are here. I have seen these peoples lives change over the last year, some for the better, some for the worse. That is the way of war. And yes, it is still a war. The media and our government can say that the “war” is over, but in reality, it is not. It is still going strong. But also it has been a road of discovery. When I stepped on that plane, I hoped that I could leave all my problems behind and start over. Yes, I know that it sounds like a very wild way to start your life over, but when have I don’t things like everyone else? I knew that I would find out who I am and what I am made of here. I believe that I have done some of that. We never truly totally who we are and how we will react in things till we are put in that situation. Honor, integrity, pride and humanity can all be discovered. I know that I still have the romantic heart that I came over here with. I know that I still am a very passionate person when it comes to the things I believe in. These things have not changed. Well that is wrong, they have changed. It is more, but with caution. I had a friend tell me before I came over here that “They are going to eat you up. You are to naive and trusting.” Well, my dear, you were right. And I want you to know, you are still right, but not in the manner that you think. I am still me, but more. More, you ask, how can that be? More because, I know more about me, I know more about the world we live in. I have seen mans inhumanity to man, as well as mans love and understanding of man. I have also found that, I have places in my heart that are cold and uncaring, as well as the uncontrollable places that are full of warmth and love. So my story of being over here is not just one of a female truck driver, driving in a war zone in Iraq, it is a story of me finding the world, and of me finding me. And this is just the beginning…….